Just.

Another reason why fate should be shot to death. Else, if like me, you don’t really buy the concept of fate, then the unfairness of life then.

Why?

Just look at the fugly creatures sitting in the passenger seats of Lexuses and Mercs.

Just look at the totally hideous tai tais making the social circuits (the gorgeous Celina Lin and Shabnam Melwani notwithstanding)

Just look at this totally gorgeous babe take the very narrow and thorny path of single parenthood of her own choice.

I cried when I read her post.

Too many painful memories. Too many raw wounds still festering beneath the blase facade. Too close to home.

Several of the girl friends have been receiving some pretty nice gifts lately.. And it just sort of set me thinking..

Is it the gift itself that makes you happy or the thought behind it? I would say that it’s more of the thought and intention behind the gift that matters more to me.. Take Jean’s Tiffany three-fish ring as example. The Husband actually paid $920.00 for a ring which has nil traces of gold or diamonds in it; that has got to mean something.. And Seren’s first aid kit… I was rather floored by the thoughtfulness that went into planning the gift.

Then I thought about the decadently pricey gifts I received in the past.

The Trinity ring that everyone raved about from Mr I-am-divorced-but-still-married. Zilch future.

The all expenses paid trip to Seychelles from Mr I-am-single-but-ended-up-married. Zilch future.

The various designer bags and watches from various Mr Lying-about-singlehood-but-is-Married and Mr Attched-but-cannot-make-up-my-mind.

Zilch zilch zilch.

But I still have the spoils to comfort the aching heart I suppose.

And lastly and most recently: the ultra expensive phone from Mr Stalkerman.

I am about to declare that I just about have it with men and their shit when somebody gave me these when I threw a hissy tantrum over nothing..

Sigh…

Apart from being sweet, understanding, humorous, intelligent and possessing of an uncanny ability to read my mind and make me laugh, we can also share almost similiar viewpoints and values on many issues..

Oh, and did I mention that he is also attached?

*kicks self*

TODAY
1 S’pore wife + 1 foreign wife = more babies
Letter from Ong Kean Hin

“It’s nice to see Singaporeans come up with innovative ideas on how to improve the national birth rate. Some ideas may not work in the form they are presented but can be refined and made more suitable.We cannot deny that the high cost of living is a real stumbling block in a larger family. So many couples struggle to make ends meet, even with a dual income. And so many families have to engage a maid to maintain their home front.So, we should come up with a ‘1+1′ policy – let all men be entitled to have on Singaporean wife + one foreign wife. This way, more resources can be shared in the family and the foreign wife can reduce reliance on maids, even teach the kids a third language.It will keep the men happy and solve the baby shortage. The only problem is, how to convince the women that this is a win-win proposal”

***

The responses to paper and online forums came fast and furious, all lambasting Mr Ong for his “sexist and short sightedness” etc etc.

As for me, when I was done reading the above, I was incredulous. Either the man really meant what he said, and that would be incredulous stupidity… or it could be satire not unlike the Jonathan Swift Proposal. In which case, my incredulity would be even greater as Singaporeans do not get satire.

They don’t even get it when it’s presented in black and white, what more satire, a foreign and elusive thing?

***

Anyway, it was later revealed that it was indeed satire.

Thank God for making one less stupid person in the world..

With the exception of the toxic bitch, I swear last week was absolutely fabulous!! It was raining pressies!!

With the exception of one, which I had to return to the sender, the rest were great!!!

Muaks to you all, my nice and normal readers!!

Yesterday after dropping the kids off at Sunday class, I popped by the Fav Nails roadshow and got my nails done. Will upload the pics later, they are damn vavavroom red and sexy.

The roadshow was at Citylink Mall and I walked over all the way from Suntec Convention Centre.

Nothing out of the ordinary.. until I noticed this dude staring at me as I was having my nails done. He was leaning against a nearby pillar and just STARING.

I thought he was waiting for his girlfriend who was doing her nails too but why then was he STARING AT ME?

Damn. Then, after I got my nails done and prepared to leave, he followed me!

And then……….

HE STOPPED ME AND TOLD ME HE WAS FOLLOWING ME ALL THE WAY FROM SUNTEC TO CITYLINK.

WTF??!!

And waited there dumbly while I did my nails for freaking 45 minutes.

For what???!!

I really don’t get these people.

Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to sympathetise with him or to reject him harshly, so I came up with the old trusty

“I am attached and not interested ok?”

and just walked off before he could say anything else.

The girls and I met last Saturday for high tea at Marriot and shopping at Tangs (thanks to the Tangs voucher I got from you ;-). It was a highly charged session because we had royal time btiching about our ex acquaintance, Ms SPG whom I shall call the S for simplicity, and also because we had a roaring good time trying out various combinations of nasty lingerie and them poking my boobs (yes, I’m such a victim… *sob).

No I did not take any pictures and sure as hell wouldn’t post them here even if I did… duh.

As for the S, she crashed in with us last year. Being Liz’s friend, we accepted her, even though we didn’t really like her, and being a really non-judgmental group of bitches, we let her hang with us. Because S do not have any other friends, and in a while, you’d know why. Liz, of course, being the sweet pretty little angel she is, never had much of an issue with her. Liz never had much of an issue with anybody, so that don’t really count.

S is a not particularly pretty, not particularly slim, and not particularly curvy woman. She is probably a worst case scenario. Plump (size 10?) with no boobs and no butt. *cue sympathetic look* However! However, she is particularly insistent on trumpeting her angmoh husband as a trophy (ageing rich fart) and flaunting a pseudo European accent as if she has lived abroad all her life, when really, the farthest she has been before her marriage, is Malaysia. I suppose she got the weird combination of assorted accents from the vast assortment of different angmohs she dated before landing the old bird.

So, be it suffice to say that she has none of Cassy’s Audrey Hepburn petite, none of Liz’s angelic prettiness and definitely none of my survivor instincts. She strives mainly like a parasite, living off the fats of her trophy, flaunting the Pradas and Ferragamos of her kill. No opportunity will be wasted to emphasize how “high class” and “presentable” she is. A plankton of the very highest order.

S is the type of woman who cannot afford any designer goods on her sole income if she is to work. She is the type to die if her trophy casts her aside.

I fact, to us, she can absolutely nothing going for her without her ageing farang trophy, and being the unassuming bunch we are, we didn’t lynch her for that.

Until the day she made a mistake by blah-ring to Cassy about my blog entry.

Something to the effect of

“She must have given him a b*** j** or something to get an ex gift like that”

Apparently Ms Sour Grapes SPG with no boobs/ ass/ looks/ intelligence/ literacy couldn’t comprehend my writing. That I have not met or even spoken to B on the phone before. How on earth then could I administer the said treatment?

And of course, my friends being the classy bitches they are, promptly axed her from our exclusivity. No one in our group bitches about each other behind. We do it upfront and forget about it promptly. We have no patience with backstabbing, sniping and stupidity.

And good riddance to toxic. I had quite enough of her pseudo accent to last me a lifetime.

*****

PS: And that bitch Pink had to comment, when I bitched about this to him, that

“Wah, at least now you establish your rate for bj lor… $800
a pop”

BITCH. But I still love you. *giggles*

A friend is someone who..

1. Tells you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. but in shades of lightened tone.
2. Tells you the truth to your face, not to anyone else and least of all behind your back.
3. Stands by you through good and bad times.
4. Listens to your whining for the entire period when you are down. Then bitch slaps you out of depression the moment you are ready.
5. Shares nitty gritty details with you about her life, and not highly glossed fabrications about how glamourous/ fun/ exciting/ blessed her life is.
6. Jolts you out of lust-defined obsession with a timely bitch slap.

Therefore to my Bear Bee Pam… thank you for being a true blue friend. Muaks!!