Just.

Do you know anyone in your life who is always Ms Perfect? Mr Perfect? She who has to one-up everyone else in whatever she does.

I do.

And I feel not only irritated but sorry for her.

Because it must be tiring to constantly try try try and try to be Little Miss Perfect.

***

This blog was never written as a Ms Popularity attempt nor do I care about my readership stats by being Little Miss Sunshine all the time. I have my moments when I feel down, bitchy or nasty. And I don’t pretend that my farts smell like roses you know.

Yes, this is the real me. The nasty, the real,  the delirious, the happy, the pissed, the loved, the loving and everything.

I have been starting to feel mutinous lately. I just want to travel and get away. Sometimes I get this way when I am up to my ears with why why why questions, work, whatnots.

The kids are now at his place and in the desired silence and peace, I feel strangely discontented. I miss them and yet when they are around and clamouring for my time, I wish for some quiet.

I don’t know what I want and I suck.

I won’t bore you with the details but suffice it to say that I had to juggle three meetings, arrange and lay out breakfast and lunch for 50 over people and only a gazillion other trivial but time consuming stuff on Tuesday. I almost mutated on the spot. But no. As usual, I always pulled back from the edge as I was about to keel over.

What really really pushed me into the realm of insanity was the shameless and blatant flirting that B attempted with my boss.

Remember B, the bitch? I blogged about her a while back and since then I tried to keep out of her way. I may not like her but she’s my boss’ father’s PA after all. Perhaps I had been too diplomatic and neutral during work, that she keeps trying to get close to me. Which is worse since logically, I should be the one sucking up to her, and not the other way round. But you guys know me. I DETEST being a sycophant. But as I was saying, she tries to get close. I have to listen to her sob stories and be privy to many a private details of her life. In fact, she shared something of a very private nature with me and I am still baffled why. Then again, I am the sort that you can tell any shite and secrets and I still wouldn’t leak it even after a fall out, so…

So she thinks I am her new found girlfriend in the office and I am none too pleased about it but could not do anything about it short of offending her. This I do not want as she has her boss wound round her little finger and I don’t need any unnecessary trouble.

So she comes by my room ever so often. This morning as she was blabbering on and on about some nonsense, my boss came into my room and asked me about his 15th year wedding anniversary. I said I will order a big bouquet of roses as he already bought her a 2 carat diamond ring a while ago. Then he asked me about the restaurant. She then cut in and suggested before I could speak! The gall and the nerve.. He shot down her suggestion citing some excuse and suggested another places, saying, “Rach, please make reservations for us at XXX.” This is the part that really made me see red.

She touched him on his arm and asked him coquettishly, “Us? You and me hah? So you bringing me to the restaurant too right?

$%^&^&*^*(&(Â What a shameless slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you all know me, you know I seldom get so pissed. But this really takes the cake. Apparently as the grapevine reports, this is not the first time she flirted so shamelessly with him. Whenever he goes on trips, she would ask with saccharine diabetics, “Would you be bringing me along?”

Not forgetting the touchy feely of course.

And she asks me why my boss’ wife detest her.

***

My boss’ wife had her misgivings about me too a while back. I was bewildered as I never gave her any reason to suspect/ doubt/ be wary about me. The fault lies in my boss not getting her in to interview me too. I asked him after he interviewed me and tested me, if his wife would need to see me. He very decisively replied in the negative and offered me the position. I felt he should have deferred to her first, to set her mind at ease. Moreover he is hiring a busty woman as his PA… precautions should have been taken to allay any doubts..

Anyway, I made it my personal agenda to allay her doubts and misgivings about me. I sought her opinion and permission on most matters. I kept her in the loop of things happening. I bought her a low fat latte which I know she likes whenever I got one for myself. I don’t ever evar flirt with her husband, my boss, and keep it very professional at work. The most personal talk we had was about the kids and some light hearted jokes. Basically I tried to show her that I am a professional PA, I work hard and honest for my keeps and I am not interested in any other man than my own. Guess she could also tell from the display of flowers and photos that constantly grace my room.

So, I am happy to report that I have won her trust and affection. Just the other day, she flung her arm around my shoulder and asked me to do her a favour: buy her a latte… Heh.

And she gave me the Club 21 bed she bought for her son last week when she decided that another one would be better for him (ah, the quirks of the rich..)

On my part, I ordered red roses for her and made sure that the arrangement is no less than gorgeous. Helped him to write her a sweet little note with the flowers. I even scanned and emailed them the exact arrangement and colours I wanted and I knew she liked. Made sure they had a good table and complimentary cake. Wished them a happy and lasting marriage and many more happy years to come.

Her reply?

Thank you! Thank you for arranging it for us! X (kiss)

His, short and sweet as usual: Thanks so much!

With that, I mutated into a puddle of mush.

Before we got Muffin, my kids would always bug me for a pet. Not the turtle/ fish variety as we had been through it and they, like me, HATE inanimate sort of creatures. But a dog would tire me out further (what with the walks and what nots) and I thought cats were aloof creatures (that was before I found out more about cats from Barffie, RN and Big.

So, during one of my sick turns of humour, I told the children that we could get a pet shit instead. Imagine! No trouble with feeding it, taking it out to play and showering it. We could have fun talking to it and making up the dialogue for it. Most importantly, no problems with the shitting as it is a piece of shit itself!

Needless to say, my children wondered why their mum is such a whackybat, Geanyne proceeded to protest quite violently and told me to “stop being naughty” and Germaine even borrowed some books from her school library to educate me.

Geez. Kids these days.

Last week when I steamed cod steak for the children, I also set aside some for Muffin. I wasn’t sure if she would like it but judging from the empty dish, she did.

Muffin has settled in quite nicely in our little family. She’s very obedient and affectionate. Normally she sleeps outside in the hall on the sofa or on the chairs in the kitchen. Her favourite spot though, is on our soft fluffy quilt on our bed and we usually let her, except during the night, when we close the door due to the airconditioning. Sometimes, she would protest by meowing rather piteously at the closed door, and when we let her  in, she would come in and cuddle with us.

There was an accident on the first night that she came. Geanyne opened the door to go to the toilet and Muffin, being playful, dashed right for the door. Geanyne was probably caught in a sleepy state and in shock, she tried to slam the door shut. The tip of Muffin’s tail was caught and she immediately started meowing very loudly. We were jolted out of our sleep and upon discovering, quickly released her from the door. Geanyne was crying in the room, thinking that Muffin wanted to bite her. Geez, we had two little ones to comfort. Explained to Geanyne that Muffin was only being playful and she should never try to close the door in that fashion again. Thankfully, Muffin was also not fearful or hostile from that incident. She is still the trusting and affectionate little muffin that she is.

I never thought I would make a good or willing pet ow ner due to my fastidious and neat freak nature but it’s so easy to fall in love with Muffin. It also helps that she’s also a very clean kitten and very well trained in toilet habits, thanks very much to Barffie and Jeff.

She was abandoned near their house and I am glad that we could do something to help.

In my last post about Germaine, I bitched about memory versus intelligence. See, I am not the type of mother who does flash cards and send my kids to all manners of enrichment classes. Not that they are crap or anything, it’s just not my style. Nevertheless, Germaine started to read when she was 4.

Anyway, my point is this. Do you think the big shots and entrepreneurs got to where they are by mugging? Memorising facts? Dead ringing ten year series?

Nope. I believe they journeyed along with creativity, an ability to think out of the box, street smarts and most importantly, intelligence.

My boss can’t remember his own schedule, his credit card numbers, his anniversary (!) and the likes, He needs me to remind him of such things. Me of the superior memory. And of course his earning capacity is many times of mine.

I look at the kiddie shows on television and they kind of sadden me. Spelling competitions, Brainiest kid (again, emphasis on memory of facts) etc. Why don’t they have one where the kids have to come up with business ideas and compare profits? Or in case you think, shucks, she’s such a monetary bitch, then a show where they come up with practical inventions which they then have to build.

And the people in charge say that they are nurturing the children to think out of the box, to be creative, to be thinkers.

Gawd.

PS: We saw an ad on television the other. It’s about Oreo cookies. Three little girls poured the remains of milk into three glasses for themselves and tried to dunk the oreo. No go as the milk’s not enough. The first thought I had was, use a cup with a wider brim lah.. Ger went, what’s the problem, just pour the other two into the third one and all share that glass!

So it was.

Seems my daughter might be more intelligent than I am.

I didn’t bring my dad out as my folks hate crowds and they prefer to go next weekend when it’s not so “commercial”. Anyway, I don’t buy into the commercial notion of the “XXX Day” thing, with the exception of birthdays and anniversaries, where the particular date hold special significance. Any day can be Father’s Day or whatever day if the heart is there…

For another special “dad”, here’s what I cooked for him:

 Just a simple meal of pan-fried Salmon steak in dilled butter, lemon juice and garlic, and fresh produce with vinaigrette.

Thank you for being such a great dad to the kids.

I love you. 

Anna Sui Dressing Table Miniature

Gorgeous don’t you think?! It now resides on my office table, where I use it for my lippy touch ups.

I’m such a hopeless ku niang, I know.

Abso f**king lutely gorgeous ad

I recently had some pictures taken and I wish they could look like this. The colour texture, the direction.. the body.. hah!

At least I managed to get it done in monochrome tone. Nice.

VERY nice.

Germaine learnt to make pizza in one of the classes organized by her after school program. It taste quite good, although a tad dry on the crust.

She refused to eat it and saved it for us till we got back after work. That’s why I managed to take a picture of it in its whole glory…

Not bad at all for a first-time pizza chef!

Have I gotten your attention yet? *grin* Yes, I love legs too. Long shapely legs on bosomy women with nice butts.

The right type of shoes to showcase great legs

I am glad to be blessed with a good height 1.68m, firm calves and small ankles. Although not a model’s height (I know, I often feel dwarfed by the amazon models in my office; 1.7m and above!), they don’t look half bad, what with the 3 inches that I frequently favour for work, and either slim cut pants or dresses.

As you can see, I love my legs.

I can’t say the same for my upper body though. I have fat upper arms and uhm…. a proportionally inappropriate bosom. This makes me look top heavy, something that I do not like. It is rather difficult for me to buy tops, seeing that if the bust fits, the waist will be floating around, and if the waist fits, I can’t button at the bust. My shopping choices are limited, as I can only shop at places like Zara, Mango, Dorothy Perkins, Bebe, Selfridge, Marks and Spencers and the like. Local designers are quite curve-unfriendly and the maximum size for tops, XL, measure 36 inches at best.

Also, it does not help matter when some people choose to speak to my breasts instead.. Sigh.

Did I say I love my legs?

And no, I am not going to post saucy pictures too, only meant for the eyes of Big, thank you!

What is love to you? A 2 carat diamond as a gift? Some fanciful presents? Having a baby together? He giving you a supplementary card?

Love can be so many things. It can be manifested in his doing the laundry so that I can bundle the kids into the shower and put them to bed. It could be him giving me a foot rub just because my soles are aching from the 3 inchers I so love.

It could be the nights where we just lie together and talk about anything and everything. Or how he always make me laugh until my stomach aches so badly that I have to beg for a time out. Or how he comforts me when I am affected by things like petty quarrels and nasty lowlifes etc.

Sometimes I can talk to him and suddenly I just stop. And gaze into his eyes. And just wonder why do I love him so much.

No, not a baby! That, you will know the long and short of it from ten months before, complete with photos and scans.

It’s a new kitten we got from Barffie, who already has two very adorable cats and cannot handle another. Muffin was a kitten they found near their house. We took her home last Friday and she had settled in very nicely. She loves to sleep on the sofa and our bed.

She is very affectionate and loving ,and the children have warmed up to her. Geanyne even carries her and plays with her, after the initial apprehension had subsided.

Big says this is our first little “baby” together

Hahahahahahaha! That man is atrocious!

Geanyne is now 3 years 9 months. She’s becoming quite the little lady. Unlike her elder sister, she adore pink, skirts and dresses, and all things fluffy and sweet.

Her manner of speech and articulation has also improved by leaps and bounds. Now she can ask with an injured tone, “Why did you do that for? You hurt my feelings.”

And the classic “Mummy, jiejie is touching my things again. Please do something about it.”

Now, she cannot read yet because I am not the card flashing type of mother. But she is fantastic at holding the book and making up stories from the pictures. The stories vary everytime she reads from, so it’s all very entertaining.

She has her little quirks. Typical Singlish: Eh! Don’t anyhow say! Her take on it: Don’t any say how!

Weird but funny.

She loves her Big Sister very much. She looks for Germaine if she is not around and wants to be with her if possible. She also delights in whining about Germaine whenever the displacement of her property takes place.

She has a nasty little temper when provoked. And she can say things like “I want to kick you until you DIE!!”*** and then sobbed into her pillow like the injured victim.

On the whole, she is a naughty, adorable, sweet, fierce, smart, innocent and happy little munchkin.

***Oh, don’t get too worried about the purported violence. She never does. It’s all fluffy talk. 

Today she told me that she discovered a method of easy multiplication. Eg. for 40 x 3, she would not take the numbers as per se. She would first multiply 4 by 3 and then add the zero behind. Same goes for 400 x 30. Just multiply the single digits and then add the zeros behind. This, she discovered by herself by playing around with numbers. I am more impressed with this than any other display of memory prowess. Think kids sprouting chinese poetry and not even knowing what it means or the child reading but not understand anything.

Sometimes she also surprises me with her maturity in handling emotional matters. She can discern if someone is being overly friendly with ulterior motives or being genuinely friendly.

Not to claim credit for it, as these things are intangible and not teachable anyway. But I am proud of her.

She is only 9 but she takes care of her sister and can even walk with her to school.. I am very proud of her.

I’ve visited and carried no less than five babies recently. Big’s boss gave birth to a beautiful baby of mixed parentage, absolutely gorgeous little minx. His friend had a son, my colleagues had their babies and yesterday, we visited a dear friend, Yummy mummy at the hospital. Her baby, Joshua, looks exactly like his parents.. the nose, the full lips.. I had such a good time carrying the baby that she had to gently remind me to relinquish the baby to her parents in law for their attention.. Oops.

I love babies. I love their softness, their vulnerability, their innocence. I wish I could ahve two more.

But I may not be able. I may be ill.

More about that later.

OK thank God I don’t have what I was suspected to have. A simple little urine test (no, not to test for pregnancy) assured us.

Thank God!

• He goes all the way home and to my office to pass me my phone whenever I forgot about it and left it at home..plus pack lunch for me and clean the house while he’s at it, so that I can rest after work.
• He tells me I have his FULL SUPPORT when I mentioned I want to quit. Without another job in tow.
• He wakes up very half an hour to check on Geanyne when she was feeling feverish, just so I can rest well.
• He takes care of me without complaint when I am ill.
• He does the housework without being asked to, simply because he wants to pamper me.

Geanyne was warded for gastric flu on Saturday morning about 4am. On the same night, I had to put on the glad rags and help host a party that I had absolutely no interest in. Superficial people came, Ix Shen, Adrian Pang, Ericia Lee, Allan Wu and the likes came, taitais came but I only had my mind on Geanyne, in the hospital with Big watching over her.

I am starting to have second thoughts about this job, which isn’t such a great thing. I hate the way it consumes my time after office hours. I hate it when it steals time away form my family. I hate it that I feel so stressed that I am getting gastric attacks and falling ill more often. I just succumbed to fever and flu on Tuesday and only started to feel better today.

I told my boss that Geanyne was hospitalized on Sat morning and he never even replied; the implication being that I am still expected to show up at the party on Saturday night. Fine. On Sunday he smsed me that he “hope you had a good weekend and pls find out about my flight”.

??!!

I replied that I am in the hospital and had no internet access and his reply was “your daughter is still in hospital? I thought she would have been discharged already.”

****

I am tendering my resignation today. I.cannot.take.it.anymore.