Just.

We went to see Dim Sum Dollies just now. A few minutes into the performance, I thought they were pretty overrated as a trio of singing prancing performers but as the evening advanced, I began to enjoy the jokes that could only be appreciated by the local audience (think snarky political jokes and dialect idiosyncracies) Hossan Leong as usual, is an absolute scream. We had a good view from where we were seating (VIP box seats) but I had an uncomfortable moment when we walked in the couple beside us (the guy looked so girlish I thought they were lesbians at first!) were dressed most inappropriately.

So, the girl beside me was in a tee shirt and denim skirt and white flat shoes with so many scruff marks that the old shoes I throw out look more glamorous. Although I don’t know what is worse: her ratty looking shoes, or the fact that she later chose to remove her shoe and cross her legs with her bare sole facing me. Appalling lack of social graces.

Big of course got the full discourse of my outrage and he, being the kind soul he always is, made excuse for her on account of her youth. Which I naturally discounted, as seeing my daughters can behave better than that. Most distasteful, I must say.

Apart from the brief disgust I felt at etiquette faux pas, I must say I had a very good time at the performance, even though I had caught a cold today and was feeling decidedly unwell.

Courtesy of the lovely Beaulotus who had tagged me, but no backlinks.. Eh lady, you testing to see if I read your blog religiously or not, right? LOL!

Before I was a mum:

I thought kids were simply scary

Before I was a mum:

I was having lots of fun flying the skies, partying the nights away, boozing and smoking. Now I am having lots of fun flying around juggling work, home and kids.

Before I was a mum:

I never knew kids could give you such joy and such sadness, … and that it would be so worth it.

Before I was a mum:

I never thought a softly whispered “I love you mummy” could make everything seem right.

Before I was a mum:

I didn’t know butterfly kisses from your children could be so addictive.

Before I was a mum,

I smoked like a chimney. Now I detest the smell of cigarette smoke and people smoking near my kids.

The first chain of tag:
1. Lovelymummy

2. Pek Imm

3. Momisodes

4. Ling that’s me

5. Janicepa

6. AnnieQ

7. Allthingspurple

8. Montessorimum

9. clumsy mommy

10. Sandra

11. KittyCat

12. VivianZ

13. Sweetpea

14. Sasha

15. Giddy Tiger

16. Wen

17. Jo-N

18. Janice Ng

19. Blur Ting

20. ViEmwk

21. Beaulotus

22. Xtralicious

I tag the following gorgeous mums: fitti, shelled, angelia, karen, sri and eastcoastlife.

Kindly add on to the above list!

Although I don’t have an LJ account, I thought the Mail Order Bride’s meme is quite fun to do, so here goes!

1. Pick your birth month.
2. Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you.
3. Bold the things that best apply to you.
4. Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under a lj-cut.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. (Ed: I think I am sharp, rather than brilliant..) Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors (Ed: I look at blood and I want to hurl). Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. (Ed: people seem to tell me their secrets not because I know how to dig. It is simply because I don’t ask and thus it makes them comfrotable enough to tell me when they want to) Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. (Ed: SO NOT TRUE. I LOVE to be praised! LOL.) High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

I tag anyone who wants to do this!

Just leave me a comment after you are done…

Today I came back slightly earlier than usual as my back was killing me. We were moving office today and the packing for the last few days coupled with the coordinations today had simply taken its toll on me. At an unearthly 8.30pm (!) I retired to the bedroom with Gean to rest for a while.

I was shocked to see tears in her eyes. I asked her why she was crying. She softly answered that she loves me and she feels very sad that I am hurting.

Ger is also like that. There was once she overheard me talking with Big that I was afraid that I might be paralyzed from spinal cord complications and she started sobbing, to my chagrin. Sometimes I forget that the kids are very alert to our conversations..

There was once during our mother and daughter sharings that I told Gean that I was a little sad when she went out with her father. To me, it was merely conversational.

She started tearing up. I got a wake up call to being sensitive about what seems perfectly conversational to me might make the kids feel sad, and it’s very sad at that.

Now, lest you think my kids are whiny and crybaby kids, they are not. If you had been following my blog, you would have guessed that Ger is a sporty, spunky and outgoing kid, while Gean is a bubbly and sunshiny child.

Their only weakness is a very soft heart. And it’s not a bad vulnerability to have, don’t you think?

OK so, I finally succumbed and went to the Zouk Flea and Easy Market. A girlfriend from Harper’s emailed me about it and despite hearing bitchings from my colleagues along these lines, I decided to go check it out for myself. So it was true. There were many people wearing geek glasses, cheap tees and cheaper flip flops. LOL. But it doesn’t bother me that much, because I look chic (by comparision) in my white scoop neck tee, khaki tailored shorts, scholl gold sandals and my beeeeeg beeeeeg suhali white MM (the better to shop with, my dear!) Bwahahahahaha!!

Fashion faux pas apart, the place was too crowded to be true. People everywhere, clothes packed to the brim in suitcases. I walked around like a queen *regal waves* I walked around leisurely and enjoyed the vibrant mood of the sellers and buyers while trying to suss out a good deal. I did not harbour any hopes of getting clothing. As you know, local sizes tend to favour the slim and petite and moi, being the queen of plus size, is neither. Haha!!

I did however, find two pretty pieces for Gean at an absolute steal.

$5!! New piece by Ma Kool.

$8!! Also New piece from Laura Ashley. *happy camper*

But nothing excited me more than this purchase… I spied it tucked away under the clothes rack and pounced upon it like a predator. I love vintage stuff!!!

Bargained it to only $100!!!! *jumps around in glee*

Brand new vintage looking peep toe flats $20!!

Suffice it to say that I had quite a good time. I also spied some vintage telephones that looked like this:

They were going for only $80!

I would have bought one if I had not preferred these models:

Perhaps I am a little weird, but I am the type who would rather wait out and find the one thing that I want, than to settle for what is available. Heh. Have you seen anything like these models in vintage stores or overseas flea markets? Let me know!

When I read articles like this and this, I am glad that I am a Singaporean woman, not subject to the mortal dangers of religious mania and prejudice. I say religious mania and prejudice, that is to say, the religion and its teachings had been taken all out of context. This is not to say that Singaporeans are superior to the other nationalities (that is fodder for another day), no, not at all. I too have my grouses, one namely being the hypocrisy of the government. I do not appreciate the air of martyrdom air put on for “serving the people”. You are paid a salary (a very VERY handsome one I might say) to do so, so quit the whole “we did the right thing, we wanted to serve the people” righteousness. You are serving your greed and your money gods, not the people. I might have respected you more if you had come right out and admitted so. “Yes I have what it takes to lead and I should be paid accordingly.”

But I digress.

I am glad that I am Singaporean because I am not persecuted with my life when it comes to religious choice. I don’t lose my freedom and my voice for men who misinterpret the Koran or the Bible for their own purposes. I am grateful for the comprehensive health care and the ever ready A&E services that is available here. I am grateful I don’t get mugged on the streets in broad daylight. I am grateful for the many libraries with good selections of books and multimedia materials. I am grateful that I can wear sleeveless tops in this weather and not be forced to wear long sleeved tops, long pants and cover my hair and face. I am glad that my daughters will not be forced into such barbaric traditions. I am glad I can walk safely into a sex shop and buy a vibrator and not be dealt an “honor killing“. I am glad I am not sentenced with 200 lashes of the whip for being raped.

I am grateful that while I am not free to choose who gets to be in the elite team, I do get to choose in every other manner. I am numb to whatever taxi hikes, ERPS and whatever. Why whine about the things you can’t change? Much better to make sure you are in a position to ensure that you maintain your lifestyle no matter how they pull hikes on you right?

At most, you can always migrate to whichever country of your choice. When you return, you would even be lauded as a “stayer”

“Stayers” include Singaporeans who are overseas, but feel for Singapore. They will come back when needed, because their hearts are here. The Singapore nation is not just those of us living here, but also the thousands of loyal Singaporeans who live around the world.

There you are. Covered.

Uncyclopedia, apparently a spoof of Wikipedia, has this entry on Singapore which I find utterly so not funny, possessing of bad English and totally distasteful. Cheap shots of “humour” don’t put me in a very good mood. If you want snarky wit and good natured ribbing, I recommend the illustrious Talkingcock.com instead.

..at this article by Telegraph, which hints with tongue in cheek that Idle Parenting = Happy Kids. Indeed their conviction at cramming their children’s schedule to the brim with wholesome activities is to the very contrary of the DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People, published in 1918: “How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning.”

I have always been an advocate of “Idle Parenting” for want of a better phraseology. I detest pushing my children into enrichment activities which is of no use to their childhood at all. I don’t see the point of urging them towards “hobbies” in which they have no interest in. If you think about it, they have a daunting period of 15 – 19 years ahead of them for the very purpose of education. Why then, the seemingly frantic rush to shorten their carefree childhood? I do not and cannot comprehend. If you are clucking away at what a bad mother I am for not “giving them an advantage”, don’t bother. My girls are healthy happy kids (my primary concern) and my elder girl coped very well when she started school. She picked up reading when she was 5 without me pushing phonics and flashcards at her, and is comfortable in both her languages despite not having tuition or enrichment classes. Honestly, so what if your child starts reading at 2? So what if she aces the class every year? I mean, really, think about it. So what?? Does it guarantee an iron clad elitism? (perhaps). Is it really all that important? Is the child happy? Is it worth all the frenzied stress, pressure and constant need to compare and one-up? Well, it’s not, to me.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not the kind of mum who neglects her children’s needs in sloth. The girls go for swimming lessons but only because I feel it is a survival skill (this is Singapore after all, surrounded by waters blah blah blah). This is also because they expressed interest in learning and have great fun at it. We spend more time with Ger in her math because she resists tuition and Kumon or whatever will just make her life miserable. I tried to enrol Ger in abacus when she was younger just to see if she would find any “fun” in it but no luck there. She enjoyed art classes so I encouraged her in that area. She has been selected to join the school netball team because she enjoys and excels at it. Gean had recently expressed interest in Speech and Drama and ballet, so we will nurture that accordingly. My point is, I will only nurture them wherever they had expressed interest, and not where I feel it will be good for them. I learnt from mistakes too. I tried to “encourage” Ger in ballet lessons, yes you can stop rolling your eyes already, yes the same sporty spunky Ger, and of course it went up in smoke. Both the idea and my money.

Of course, momzillas may totally disagree with my “bourgeois” ideas and sneer at me as a bad irresponsible mum. That’s fine. I can answer to my principles and integrity. However what I don’t understand, really really do not understand is: if they love their child all that much, then why are they the ones hindering the child from happiness and a well state of mind and being?

Think buying gadgets of all manners is a way of doting on the kids? Rather I think it stifles their creativity and ability to think out of the box. I visited a quaint little self funded Children’s Museum at Arab Street area and I was floored by the self made toys that children made to entertain themselves, consisting of match boxes, rubber bands and other simple whatnots. The simple games of five stones and marbles etc delighted the kids back then like no other. What happened to this generation where children do not know how to entertain themselves other than DS Lite and PSPs? I am guilty as charged too. If I don’t bring either during any of our trips abroad, I would be subjected to much whining and grumbling! Hindsight = 20/20.

Till date, I resist buying the Nintendo Wii for the very fact that it is a parody of the activity it simulates. Virtual bowling? Ridiculous as you don’t feel the weight of the bowling ball and you cannot gauge the angle of your pitching accurately. Virtual tennis? It completely affects your swing. Same goes with the virtual boxing, golfing etc. Sure, it’s fun for like a few minutes and then what? Total waste of time, money and leeching of skill. In fact, I am starting to regret buying the PSP and the DS Lite for Ger on the spur of my “I have to be a Dad and Mum for them and therefore they must never feel lacking” guilt. On hindsight, a game of chess, a game of marbles in the park or a good book is a much better way to pass the time! Ah, again.. hindsight=20/20. Sigh.

Disclaimer: To all the momzillas out there, please do not feel cross with me. In fact, you should be thrilled because that essentially means… you have one less competitor! LOL. 

Our first cat, Muffin, who was adopted from Barffie

She only folded her paws so daintily after Chloé joined the family. I think some of the kuniang-ness rubbed off on her.

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Chloé, our very kuniang, manja and fat cat.

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We went away during the CNY for a short weekend trip to KL, thus missing the potluck get-together at Ratna’s place on the 9th. So many places to go, so little time! LOL.

I promised the children that I’d bring them to Sunway Lagoon again, as seeing that it drizzled on our parade during the last trip in December. So KL it was to be. This trip also was very special as it was the first time I ever travelled with a girlfriend (told ya I was a loner! ) and what’s more with her son and hubby in tow too.. Joshie’s a superbly well behaved and easy baby to hit the road with, and my girls adore him to pieces. I have to be admonished to the hilt for my lack of photo taking responsibility as I totally forgot to take pictures of the girls with joshie and of our lok lok pigout at Jalan Alor! Armed with the nifty little Canon Big bought for me but always forgetting to use it when need be. Dreadful.

The girls at the hotel (more…)

Genting pictures at last!! LOL.

Misty and deliciously cool..

Queueing up to get tortured. (more…)

Like I said earlier, we don’t make a big hooha out of Valentine’s Day. It’s a combination of a case of been there done that and a deep conviction that it’s a day where merchants laugh all the way to the banks. In any case, as I had shared in the bar, I had good memories of the ex-es who had “chut patterns”, a few notable examples being the incident of the 10,000 folded paper hearts, the incident of the candles on the beach stating never dying love (which died anyway hah!), the sweep my feet off to Phuket surprise holiday, the huge (to me back then) 0.5 carat diamond ring, the one who hand stitched my name etc etc. All good memories of course. Good times.

These days, I am happy with a simple dinner with the man and my kids and a walk together after the meal, just enjoying each other’s company.

This year, I made reservations at The Turquoise Room at Gillman Village, which is surrounded by beautiful greenery. The restaurant itself possesses a nice cosy ambience and I was comfortable bringing the children along as they will sit and dine nicely without running around or making too much noise. I had called several restaurants before deciding on The Turquoise Room but as the others do not have Duck Leg Confit on their set menus, I had to give them a miss. No prizes for guessing who likes duck leg confit

I was also torn between cooking for him and going for dinner at the Turquoise Room. In the end, I decided to take the idea of dressing up nicely, taking the kids out and having people cook and serve us, and run with it.

They had a colouring book and a cute little pencil case stuffed with markers and colour pencils to entertain Gean! *scores many mummy brownies*

The interior of the restaurant

The girls seating outside after dessert to relax (more…)

To all my friends, readers and family

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you will have a great day with your loved ones.

We are not the type to make a big hooha out of Valentine’s Day (which we think is just another ordinary day, but on which the prices in restaurants and for flowers get marked up ridiculously high). Birthdays and anniversaries rank much higher in the House of Xtralicious.

But still, we would have a simple celebration of our love on Valentine’s Day and I won’t say now what I have planned for later, as seeing it is still a surprise for Big.

He, on the other hand, gave me a kiss on the stroke of midnight and had presented me with my gift:

A vintage handbag I had been eyeing for the longest time!!

I would always walk past the store and gaze at it longingly (not unlike Breakfast at Tiffany’s) but I never did buy it because
1. I wasn’t sure if I would use it even though it is gorgeous
2. The stupid store is always closed when we are there

I am touched that he noticed that I like it even though I never said anything or asked him to buy it for me.. And he does know me very well. He told me,

“I know if I had bought you a big bouquet of flowers, you will like it but you will feel very ‘heart pain’. And moreover the flowers will wilt and die. So I got you these “flowers” instead.”

I am a very happy and lucky woman.

OK we had travelled to several other places already and I still had not uploaded the Cameron Highland and Batu Caves pics from last year. *blush*

BATU CAVES

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I am so proud of my girl, especially as seeing Math is her weakest subject. She’s in the school team for Netball this year too so it’s going to be a busy year for her.

My girl is growing to be a confident spunky big girl. Today she came back from school and told me that she got a Valentine’s Day gift from an admirer.

*faints*

There are so many thoughts running through my head now that I don’t know what to say and how to say it.

For one, I am so furious that my stomach is starting to eat me up in bile.

In case you think that I still have a thing for him and therefore being affected by seeing him with another woman, I am not. I know this man for what he is, and I only have condolences for the next woman who is welcome to keep every part of him, memories included.

I am furious that I was actually stupid enough to send the girls there and coming back (freaking expensive cab fare $40!!!) for his convenience so that he can spend time with them and his girlfriend! Considerate FOOL!

I am furious that I am being branded the Scarlett woman by his family while he maintains this innocent facade of being “cheated on” as they all know about me and Big by now. This lying SOB cheated on me with a Chinese national while I was working my ass off to support the family because his lousy salary is simply too measly to be a sole breadwinner. I don’t blame the other woman as I believe that you can’t make one hand clap without the other. I despise the cowardly liar that he had always been and always will be. Even then he did not have the guts to own up to what he did, and instead, placed all the blame on me. How I had never been a submissive gentle woman. How I had never pandered to his whims and wishes. Submissive and gentle, my ass! I am trained to be tough like what I am today, partially thanks to this SOB who cannot take care of his family and leaves the burden of bringing home the dough and taking care of the family to his wife. And even till today, when he was taken aback by me waiting downstairs for the girls (he was intending to send the girls upstairs so that I won’t get to see the other woman (yet another Chinese national), he continued to be a cowardly liar being casually introducing her as a “friend” while she remained seated in the front seat of the taxi and steadfastly refused to look in my direction.

I am furious that he spread false rumours of me to our neighbours and the losers hanging out at the coffeeshops downstairs that I cheated on him and how he is such a victim. I hate women who are “shui xing yang hua” and I am definitely not one! It is such an insult to me that he is spreading these false rumours and a woman’s reputation is so very important and fragile. Yet I tried to overcome my fury and indignation by continuing to send the girls to his mother’s house every weekend, letting the girls see him every week despite feeling contempt and anger for such a piece of scum. Fine, what doesn’t kill me makes me a stronger person. But I think enough is enough.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I am not being noble for I am definitely not that good a person. I have always maintained that I am bitchy, impatient, bad tempered and nasty. It is not in me that I let the girls continue seeing the father which I know inside is such a piece of useless shit. It is for them that I try so hard, for no matter what, I thought that they should have a bond with their natural father.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Be it that I am a selfish bitch who alienate her kids from their father. Be it that I feel that they don’t need a piece of scum like him to be their father. Big is big in heart and mind and more than qualified to be their dad, and most importantly, more than willing to be a good father to them. They don’t need this person, who gives them half a day of each week and spends the rest drinking and smoking at night spots. They don’t need this person who lies and have no integrity whatsoever to guide them in life. They don’t need another mother.

I didn’t let him take me down when he cheated on me. I didn’t let him take me down when he smeared my reputation. I won’t let him take me down now as he attempts to play mind games with my children. YOU MESS WITH MY CHILDREN, YOU FUCKING MESS WITH ME AND THAT, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF LOSER SHIT, IS THE LAST STRAW.

ENOUGH IS FUCKING ENOUGH. I had been cordial enough so far mainly because of the kids but now, I am going to take you down. I am going to take you down so low. BY the time I am finished with you, you’d wish you’d never been born.

After our reunion dinner just now, I made the decision to send the girls to their paternal side. This year, their reunion dinner was held at my third ex sister-in-law’s house. With the exception of the eldest ex SIL who is a nice humble hardworking lady and the youngest one, I do not like the other two SILs. The second is a hard core gambler who neglects her sons. This third one is a materialistic, boastful and competitive parasite. The four one no longer exists and has gone on to greener pastures. It used to be me lah. Hahahahaha!!

Anyway in my usual this that and the other manner, I was trying to say that I was trying to be a better person by letting the girls be with their paternal family, although I would not and could not partake of that dinner. My ex parents in law did invite me to join in but it would be too awkward for me and everyone else. In the end, it is 12.45am now and my girls are nowhere to be seen. I had always ushered in both ‘1st January’s and Chinese New Years with my girls and this year I had to wait for them to come home. At 12.45am.

Update: I just got to know that he brought his girlfriend there to join in their reunion dinner. Not that I care now but I am very pissed that I was stupid and “noble” enough to send my girls there so that he can have his tian lun zhi le! My girls should be at home with US!!!

Never again.

This year marks a very special start because it is our first reunion dinner with each other’s families even though we are not married to each other. My mum invited Big to ours and it is a BIG thing as my mum is not someone that can be won over easily and apparently someone has gotten into her good books. Heh. My dad also likes him as I can see. There is no reason why my family wouldn’t. He is the classic good boy that every mothers love to love. LOL.

I, on the other hand, had pre-event jitters when told that we will be going to his family’s reunion dinner. Not that I am a shy wilting wallflower, mind you. I waltz through dinners like a maestro, be it business or pleasure, with the likes of businessmen, diplomats and government people. A dinner with his family who are all very nice folks, had me feeling like there were butterflies in my stomach, all fighting to escape at the same time. Alright, so I got through it just fine, thank you and as usual, I prefer to listen than speak with people whom I do not know very well. It lets me know more about them and to understand them further.

On the whole, I think it’s a good start.

The tale of a 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has moved millions of people in 2006, Wednesday morning the man passed away in the cave, which has been the couple’s home for the last 50 years.
The story began half a century ago when 20-year-old Liu Guojiang fell in love with widowed mother Xu Chaoqing.

In a twist worthy of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.

Desperate to escape market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the pair eloped to live in a cave in Jiangjin County in southwest China’s Chongqing Municipality.

Their story came atop a list of China’s top ten love stories organized by the Chinese Women Weekly, which collected tales from around the country since July.

At the beginning, life was harsh and Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, “Are you regretful?”

Liu always replied, “As long as we are industrious, life will improve.”

I think I understand how Madam Xu had felt. I have always felt that I have tied Big down. But that aside, I was very touched by this story. The intangibility of love and the magnitude of sacrifice and not feeling it is such.