Just.

That’s right!

And if I knew they were going to crop off my body chest down, I wouldn’t have bothered with the turtleneck.

But yes, it is indeed thrilling to be featured in a magazine that I have immense respect and liking for. I feel deeply honored, appreciative and touched.

So pardon me, if I have plastered the good news all over the place.

*PS: As a celebratory gesture and to thank my dear customers and friends for their support, the store is giving away an environmentally friendly recycled cotton tote with every purchase of two items. Have fun shopping!

Of course, I will have to watch it. It’s going to be like another iconic movie, like the Devil wears Prada and Pulp Fiction.

And try out the quiz at the site. It’s weird, how I got Harry as a match, when I previously was tested out as “Charlotte” when I last did a quiz called “Which SATC woman are you”, or something like that.

I quite like the series and find it quite entertaining, even though the sleeping around gets a little too much. And yep, very obviously why I am so obviously a Charlotte too.

Via Natsu

Friendly warning: this post contains contents that might or might not agree with you and your beliefs. I have never shied away from blogging about things or issues that differ from the cookie-cut opinions, so accept that everyone has his or her own POV, hokay? And please, none of the “I am offended” nonsense please. If you don’t like what you are reading, please stop, and exit.

***

Sometimes I ponder on this when the thought wanders unwittingly into my mind. It requires a certain amount of honesty to be able to ponder and delve beneath the surface of what we present to the world, I reckon.

What defines me as a person?

My work? My business? Money? Being a domestic goddess? My children? Marriage? Intelligence? A big heart? Just a few points that I ponder deeply upon either in the course of my journeys in cabs (oh, so good for reading, pondering and none of that personal sphere violation)

I have to admit that being a product of the system – read materialistic and shallow person (yes you can stop reading and leave now) I do place a sad amount of importance in my work, business and money. Generally, it has been proven that I cannot be a taitai (which accordingly to this site, loosely translates into “one has to have lots of leisure time, lots of money to spend and lots of gossip to exchange.” Sounds painful. Not the “lots of money to spend” part though. Hah!) When I am not raking in the dollars, I feel helpless, useless, powerless and generally , like a pile of crap. And by dollars, I mean Dollars. PS: That’s another weird thing about me. I don’t like to go into specifics about money. I find it rather crass. I get extremely uncomfortable when people ask me about how much I paid for my diamond jewellery/ bags/ shoes/ whatever. It’s my quirk, bear with me. If I am comfortable with you, I will share such details with you voluntarily. Else, asking me things like how much I am paid, is simply quite gauche.

PPS: This is not to say that homemakers are “helpless, useless, powerless or like a pile of crap”. I respect homemakers and stay home mums immensely for the effort and sacrifice they make for their families. It’s just not my cuppa tea. I don’t appreciate it when people twist my words into contortions of another realm. Moreover, I belong to an entirely different demented species. I cannot rest till I am pushing myself with sadistic challenges to juggle multiple roles at the same time. Otherwise I get bored and restless.

On the domestic front, some facts upfront. I can cook, bake, keep a clean home. I’ve hosted dinner parties. I have taken maternity and unpaid leave to take care of my two children till they were both 1 year old, before resuming work. Breastfed the elder one for close to a year and the younger one for four years (not a case of favouritism here, it’s a matter of the children’s preferences and self weaning). Yes, I did. But yet, I don’t see myself as a homemaker or a stay home mum in a full time capacity now. It’s just not me. I can’t say if in another few years I might mellow down and be utterly contented with being a full time homemaker. We are still discussing if we should have another child in like, three years’ time and by then, Ger would be 13 and Gean, 8. Perhaps by then, I would be fine with not just taking a year off from work, but to do it permanently. So, domestic goddess… NEXT.

On the emotional front, I am not known as a warm person. Don’t get me wrong. I am a loyal steadfast friend and you can count on me to be there for you as a friend, even if I don’t agree with your chosen path or decisions. I will tell you honestly what I think, but I will still be there for you when you slam up against the wall without saying “I told you so“. I have kept a friend company till 5am in my hospital room when I was warded simply because she needed someone to talk to. However I have also written people out of my life (and I believe I will continue to) when I deem them to be of a toxic nature. You know, people who are simply not worth it even though you have extended your sincere friendship to them, all they do is to abuse it. I can be a very good friend but I am not a doormat. Oh, and I have a limited patience towards whiners and people who complain all the time and yet do nothing whatsoever to rectify their problems, so the whining and complaining continues to eternity. I am extremely repelled by negativity.

But what I simply cannot and will not forgive is betrayal. Instances of betrayal would be – telling what I told you in confidence to someone else in gossip, stealing my boyfriend (yeah, it happened, and it was my childhood friend who stole my first boyfriend), telling my boyfriend to choose between his friends and me (yes, what a wonderful friend) etc.

Does that make me cold? Heartless? I don’t know, you tell me. I do feel that friendships can be so disappointing sometimes. People can be so disappointing.

But I digress, as usual.

Back to topic. Although I’m not an emotional person (indeed, Big had oft commented that I am seldom excitable), I do try. I seem cold, but I am nothing like that. I appreciate thoughtful gestures and am happy when I receive gifts/ surprises of sorts. It’s just that… I don’t express it too much outwardly. I wonder what it means in psychology. I am a crybaby though. I cry like a tap on demand when it comes to sad movies/ advertisements/ stories/ whatever. I cried at my children’s concerts. I cried after childbirth. Can a cold person be so emotionally vulnerable? I think not.

I think it’s precisely that people can be so disappointing, that I have learnt to protect myself with a prickly and anti social exterior. It’s like, no expectations, no disappointment, no? Sad, but true.

**

On having morals and principles, I’d like to think my parents brought me up well. I have a set of principles, beliefs and morals that I like to set my life by, and though some might like to call it being uptight, I beg to differ – it’s called being answerable to one’s self and being upright. I might object to having extra-marital affairs, sleeping around promiscuously and treating the sacred vows of marriage shabbily, but does that make me judgmental? What is the definition of judgmental anyway? Merriam Webster says it is being characterized by a tendency to judge harshly. Hence, there is a very fine line between being upright and self righteous, and between being judgmental and having your own set of beliefs.
So, I object to doing these things myself and I detest people telling me I am being uptight. Do I have to have an affair to show you I am an open minded person? Do I have to drink myself silly to show that I am a fun person? Then so be it I am a prude then! Crazy times, crazy people.

So what of people who choose to live in a way that I don’t agree to? I simply choose to distance myself from them. I don’t rain fire and brimstone on them , not unless they defend their way of life by dissing mine. A fine example would be – binge drinkers condemning others for not drinking or drinking moderately, and having a tunnel vision of people dying from cancers anyway/ eating unhealthily and dying anyway/ healthy athletes dropping dead anyway/ so we might as well drink and make merry since we die from other causes anyway. I will not bother to argue with such stupidity except to say, keep away from me, for fear that such stupidity is contagious. You choose your way or life and your friends. I choose my way of life and my friends. Life can be so simple, without people choosing to complicate matters.

**

So what kind of a person I am? I am still contemplating on this deep dark issue. A simplistic summary would be to say that I believe in all the good simple things of life. To try and live as healthy as I can, that is to say I don’t smoke, have a few drinks from time to time, not indulge in sinful foods all the time (I try!). To work hard for what I want in life and not dream of Toto and 4D. To make things happen and not wait for luck and opportunities to come knocking. To appreciate the finer luxuries of life and yet enjoy the simplicity of daipai stall and hawker food. To be down to earth and staying away from pretentious frou frou and the “Keeping up with the Joneses” complex. To be a better friend. To be a better mother. To be a better person.

Karen, one of my must read bloggers, gets to be interviewed on TV in the capacity of a blogger. How exciting!

MB sinks his fangs into people who wants everything to be handed over on a platter. Oh, how delicious.

I tried. I really did. I held out for as long as I could. But I think I am caving in to the evil Kitchen Aid who is designed to look so gorgeous, I would put it on display in the kitchen even if I don’t bake. Geez.

So thank God I do bake. Hah!

And now, the dilemma of the colour. Fire red, Onyx black or Cobalt blue?

Decisions decisions. 

As much as we would think of ourselves being racially tolerant, and harmoniously even, comes along a clown like the Sexy Fragrant Prince (like seriously?! It hurts, just typing out that moniker). He’s taken off the original post reeking of blatant racism towards Malays but it can be found here. The good people of Hardware Zone scare me. A very good example of online vigilante justice? Not that it is a totally bad thing though.

Latest update is that he has been arrested on seditious charges.

Seriously, are our youths having it too easy these days? Too spoilt, too pampered, to the point of idiotic narcissism. He is not the only young idiot around, whining about all manners of trivial stuff. This one whines about heartlanders (oh, the irony), Singaporeans not being like Italians “everyone.. so well dressed and well mannered” (is he for real?) Others whine and cringe about jobs when they have neither the expertise nor the experience. And then there are others.

To play the devil’s advocate, I have to, of course, offer an alternative view. Certainly I am not a tree hugging hippie who extols the virtues of one for all. Indeed, I guard my personal sphere violently and am fiercely allergic to people brushing up against me when a wide space is available. I detest bad smells and poor hygiene habits that lead to the bad smells. My point is, you can have an objection to the behaviour and the external factors in an elegant sophisticated manner, and not get crudely vulgar like what the delusional self proclaimed prince had. I would hardly think he would get arrested if he had taken offence to the lack of hygiene which might have been an inconsideration to the other passengers.

Instead, I get the impression that he has a bone to pick with the race. This is not an uneducated close-minded old man. This is a purportedly educated young man.  And as educated and informed a society as we are, this is distasteful and crass to say the least.

MB wrote a laudable post on disciplining our children which includes a link to an article about Beyond Parental Control Orders.

Seriously. If you are going to run to the authorities or an external third party every single time your child does something not right, you might as well not have children. Seriously. Tie your tubes, go on permanent birth control, whatever.

I am reminded of the comment I left on Pat Law’s blog (incidentally, a very interesting read). People have kids for the sake of having kids. The very motivator of having kids, is itself, a mind bloggling difference in many, it seems.

I have kids for the sheer joy and frustration of having kids. When you think about it, it’s rather selfish of us to procreate in the first place, as seeing that 1. they don’t have a choice of being born into this world (what a violation of human rights!) 2. it’s just vile ego stoking by producing genetic clones of ourselves and 3. where else do you get unconditional love and adoration?

Having said that, if you choose to have kids, for God’s sake (literally and figuratively), you owe it to them to be responsible for them. They did not choose to be born, you know.  

stupid.

Yes, I used to smoke. It’s a personal choice then and as stupid as it sounds now, it was relaxing and kept me slim (the metabolism thing). Actually smoking is never a “personal choice” as smoke toxins released into the air causes global pollution, and second hand smoke causes more harm to the people around you than to yourself, but let’s not go there for now. I’ll be kind and say it’s a personal choice.

It’s one thing when it’s a “personal choice”, and it’s another when it affects the baby in your womb, or your family around you. When I found out I was pregnant, I went cold turkey and I would be a liar if I said it was not hard. I had splitting headaches, running nose, mood swings, the whole works. It’s tough when you go from snoking two packs a day to a sudden cold turkey. But I did it.

There is nothing more I detest than to see a pregnant woman smoking, or parents smoking near their children. They cannot choose, they don’t know how to choose. You can, and by imposing your hazardous choice on your helpless children, it is being irresponsible and stupid, and it is unforgiveable.

I disagree with people who tell me that I should be accepting of smokers. Excuse me, I beg to differ. Why should I be accepting of smokers, and why do I have to suffer second hand smoke? I detest to be told what to do and how to think, and I detest to be patronized on the decision of my health and well being! I choose not to smoke and I choose to move away from smokers when they do, so take the crap about being “accepting of smokers” and not being “discrimatory” and shove it where the sun don’t shine, ok?

And don’t even start me on binge drinking. But at least that is better. No such thing as second hand drinking, unless you consider the damage that alcoholics wreck on their families. 

I should know.

**

PS: I have friends who are smokers. I am fine with that and I don’t interfere with others’ lifestyle choices as long as they do not affect me; meaning that they have the courtesy and consideration not to blow the smoke in my direction.  

OK, I am not that old. Lest those of you who are older zap me with your evil eye.

But I AM old at heart, I swear.

As the years or months go by, I find myself behaving more and more like an old biddy.

Frowning on people who smoke and drink. Clucking away like an old hen at heavily tattooed backs (of females, no less!). Disgust at people who don’t know the simple courtesy of social etiquette.

Arranging my money notes by order and facing the correct way. Putting away my receipts and bills in segmented files. Believing in home-cooked food for the children, and thus making my way home after work to cook dinner.

I scarily sound more and more like my mom. Eww. Hahahaa!!

I brought her out for hi tea last Sunday and we will be doing the daddy, mummy, aunty, Big, me and kids thing this Sunday. Woo.

**

Ger just presented me with a porcelain tea cup and spoon for Mother’s Day. Actually I am not big on Mother’s Day. It’s just a hyped up commercial day like V day. But I couldn’t hurt her feelings by dumping my cynical worldly crap on her so I accepted the gift with grace.

Ah well. Better the child who cares than the child who cannot be bothered, no?

I don’t normally read food blogs unless they are peppered with personal life anecdotes/ they contain relevant local references and recommendations, or/ and they contain the recipes of which food they are featuring. I enjoy reading The Dutchess and Beaulotus, one for her light hearted snippets on food and life, the other a very candid and real sharing about her life, family and mouth watering recipes.

What I definitely feel irritating about some food blogs is the way the author puts on this superior snooty air and talks about Michelin places or expensive delicacies like the rest of the world are not deserving. Come on, get a grip, it’s just food. And moreover you are not the cook, so what’s the huff and puff about?!

As you probably guessed, I am not fussy about food. I don’t necessarily have to go to expensive restaurants all the time, save for happy occasions celebrated in the House of Xtralicious. In fact, give me dai pai tong food and I am a happy woman.