Just.

I hope my throat recovers in time for me to go for the event this Saturday. Having attended one of the Dim Sum Dollies performances, I think it would be interesting.

Whether it is the new 21 or not, here’s to a brand new sparkling 31 and more good stuff ahead for me.

No idea what’s in store for me – it’s all a hush hush surprise, but I know I will love it just the same.

Time to review the list of goals! And for starters, I find this list quite cute. And yes, I have conquered all them skills, after all I am 31.

Cheers.

Ger is on hols till end of the year. While we have already planned the usual camps for them (they had just came back from their scuba/ archery/ bowling camps), I hope we won’t tear out too much of our hair out the rest of the time. LOL. I don’t believe in spoonfeeding entertainment or activities to fill out her day (after all she is quite independent and already has a plan of what she is going to do). She remembered that the quota of borrowed books is doubled to 8 per person during school holidays and had asked if she could go every week. Amenities like the pool, soccer field, basketball court and tennis court are at our convenience so I think we are in good hands.

And no, she is not ‘going through the next year’s syllabus’ as what I have heard from some parents’ intentions. Poor kids – are they the victims of their parents’ over demanding expectations or the society’s punishing pace and pressure? I don’t do this not only because I want to retain whatever vestiges of childhood she has, I also don’t want to risk her getting bored because we have been through the syllabus. After all, someone had been known to get up to no good when she gets bored.

Anyway, we have been swimming in the mornings, going to the library, taking walks and having games at home so far. She’s still having her ballet weekly and will be going back to school for intensive netball training. She’s been selected for the school team next year and will be in Sports Class – something that she had been aiming for. It’s not the first time I feel glad that I have enrolled her in this convent – where the culture and spirit encourages values, principles, character and belief in self.

After all, efforts at home need to be complemented by a corresponding system and culture in school. That is also why I was not interested in a ‘top school’ where there will definitely be an over emphasis on academic results, homework, holiday classes and what nots. I am quite pleased with her results, even though the Chinese was less than ideal because she missed out an entire chunk of questions at the back due to time issue.

When I told her she has to learn to manage her time in examinations instead of saying ‘not enough time’, she glibly told me that there were people who scored worse and they did all the questions. To which I gave my usual refrain – look not to the bottom but to the top. I wanted to start on my ‘you are your own best and worst competitor’ spiel but she was starting to roll her eyes.

Having a game of reversi with Ger

Having a spot of tea with the girl
When I am watching my CSI/ Dexter/ Monk etc, I like to have a pot of tea on with some finger food. Sometimes, the telly is on while I surf the net, do some crafts or flip through magazines. Any fellow multi taskers out there?

Malay kueh kueh

Weak brew of Lapsang – I love this cup. Big bought it for me – he knows I like old school stuff.

Beau Lotus wrote an excellent piece on why she keeps a blog and these paragraphs echoed resonantly -

But the need to share is probably greater than the fear, which in any case shouldn’t be allowed to dictate our lives. And as long as one takes responsibility for one’s musings and doesn’t care about the judgement of those who do not matter…

So I blog because bloggers form a community of some sort. There is inspiration, support, information, ideas, beauty e.g. lovely photography. There is voyeurism, voyages, videos, memes, lucky draws and even cookies exchange.

And it is so true. Why blog if it is not your true voice, your true thoughts or your true feelings? After all, our blogs are our online voices and for some of us, an indication of what and who we are in real life.

That is why I get very nonplussed and even irritated with guru like posts telling you how to blog, what not to blog about, how not to blog and even what kind of blogs to keep. This is ridiculous because the uniqueness of the blogging platform is then torn away – leaving in its wake another regimented and dwarfed form of communication. The beauty of blogging is the freedom to express our thoughts, interests, feelings, idiosyncrasies and what nots. The size of your readership is quite another matter.

In a person’s blog, we see what kind of person he or she is, be it narcissistic, attention seeking, sharing, friendly, arrogant, pompous, overbearing, opinionated, deliciously snarky (that would be Dooce), irritatingly snarky and so forth. To me, to try and dictate another’s blogging style is not only pompously delusional, it is arrogant and unsolicited, even unwanted. Stop being an online Hitler.

On the other hand, if you are not making enough money from blogging to have financial freedom, I don’t think a post on how to make money from blogging would be very credible. Similarly, if you let your pompous arrogance blind the fact that you are nothing but a whiner high on leadership pot giving bourgeois tips on how to live life and how to be a winner in guru-like posts, sorry I am afraid I have to burst your bubble by clicking on that little x in the corner.

Yes, going by my advocacy in blogging freedom, I won’t (and can’t) stop people from writing things that don’t sit down well with me, but I do have the right and freedom to click that little x and that’s what readers will do once they sense you are a phony.

And even though I blog, I am not actively involved in the blogging community offline. Perhaps I did too much of the socializing and PR party thing in my previous jobs and am taking a long term hiatus now. I am most comfortable being alone or with a very small select group of friends. If the truth be known, I don’t really like the petty arguments, ridiculous gossiping, time wasting politics that go on in large groups or communities. Also, in any large community, there is bound to be someone or a few people who have their heads stuck far up where the sun don’t shine. So, you also won’t see me attending any PR or blogging event for the socializing – though I might if the product or topic interests me. Besides, I have enough on my plate, what with my writing, business and family taking up a lot of of my time. Whatever time I have left – I spent it wisely reading friends’ blogs to ‘catch up’ and blogs that are of value to me/ interest me.

So why do I blog?

I blog because I enjoy writing and articulating my thoughts on a common platform to share with friends and like minded individuals. I also miss the literature dissertations, analysis and essays in school so this is somewhat of an outlet for that. What you see here about my family, my children, my life – is what I am comfortable sharing. I don’t refrain from ‘bitching’ here because the idea of self censorship somewhat compromises the voice of my blog – this is who I am and with such an acerbic sharp tongue, I am certainly no Ms Prim and Proper. LOL.

So it is with my humble and heartfelt thanks to my readers who accept me for who I am and who keep coming back for more ‘abuse’ What started out as a reader base of friends here in the region has extended out to all over the world and if Google Analytics is to be believed – really unexpected places like Iceland, South Korea, Japan etc.

Thanks folks.

Yes, I am so sick of this government I have to remind myself what I love about Singapore.

1. Food – good and relatively cheap hawker food
2. Healthcare – at least there is an A&E when I need it
3. Libraries – everytime I go to a library, I almost forgive the incompetence of the government. Almost.
4. Parks – I wanted to say parks but I remembered that I could be fined for dozing off if I get too relaxed.

I tried to think of more but seriously, I am too peeved by two incidents to think of more.

Free lunch – but just not for the Singaporeans

2 China scholars from Anderson Junior College were found absent from class for several days. When school staff checked their hostel, they found that the students had packed up and gone to USA!

Apparently these ’smart’ students found out that they don’t need A level results to gain entry into US universities. They secretly applied for an American University. When they got accepted by one, bought their air-tickets and then run!

What can the Singapore Government do? Sue them? Recover our money? They were not bonded wor.

While locals hanker and bleed their brains out for a place in the ’space constrained’ education institutions here, the government is giving out places to foreigners on a platter and basically whoring out for a hope that these people will stay. Well, here’s a reality check. These people don’t owe you anything and they won’t hesitate to kick you in the face if need be.

Our government should know better. After all they are champions at advocating the dog-eat-dog system where welfare is the most vulgar word possible.

Town Councils sink S$12 million in structured products

I wonder what our dear MM Lee will say about town councils who have also ‘went in with their eyes open’ when he had previously commented the same about ‘educated and young investors’. Town councils who are trigger happy with lawsuits when people fail to make their conservancy payments – just look at the queues at the Night Court every Tuesday. Town councils which are apparently cash rich with their massive sinking funds and what nots. Town councils which have made staggering losses in these investments which they have ‘went in with their eyes open’. So how now brown cow?

Time for someone to come out and say, “It’s an honest mistake, let’s move on”.

So yes, the two party system won’t work in this case – the incumbent might be too easily toppled, what with such an impressive array of red marks in the report card.

Change must come to PAP

By Li Xueying

PM Lee said it not PAP’s job to build up the opposition or to split the party into two because ‘it’s hard enough to find one team’ to take charge of the country. — ST PHOTOS: LIM WUI LIANG

CHANGE must come to Singapore – but within the ruling People’s Action Party rather than in the form of having a two-party system.

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong on Sunday stressed that the PAP must constantly evolve to keep up with the times. This means renewing its membership and leadership ranks, and coming up with fresh ways to engage Singaporeans.

Mr Lee, who is secretary-general of the PAP, said: ‘Change has to take place in Singapore but change must take place not (between parties) but within the PAP.

‘As long as the PAP changes itself, and continues to provide clean and good government, and the lives of Singaporeans improve, the country is much better off with one dominant, strong, clean, good party.’

Addressing over 1,000 cadres at the annual PAP Conference at the Toa Payoh sports hub, Mr Lee acknowledged the desire for change among electorates across the world.

‘It has happened in Australia, it’s happened in New Zealand recently,’ he noted. And most notably, in the United States too, where Democratic candidate Barack Obama swept to victory on his campaign platform of change.

Observed Mr Lee: ‘So the country is set on a new direction. And if Obama succeeds, that’s good.

‘If he doesn’t succeed after four years or eight years, the Americans will try again with a new President, change party, the Republicans set a new direction.’

But while the US is a big country with a big pool from which to find political talent, there is no such guarantee in smaller countries, he said.

‘In Asia, it very seldom works because having two or more parties has not guaranteed good governance or progress,’ he added, citing Taiwan as an example.

In the last decade, its unhappy voters had swung from the Kuomintang (KMT), to the Democratic Progressive Party, and back to KMT again.

‘By Western definitions of democracy, Taiwan qualifies because it’s got two changes of government – in, out, in.

‘But it is not a political system which is working properly. And I don’t think you want that kind of political system in Singapore,’ he said.

He added however that this doesn’t mean that the PAP has a blank cheque: It has to account to voters at the polls every five years. New parties will emerge quickly to take it on if ’something goes wrong with the PAP’, he said.

Neither did it mean it was the job of the PAP to build up the opposition, he added. ‘It’s hard enough to find one team to look after the country. How can you find two? As a small country, we must have a first division team, an outstanding group of people who can make up for our many limitations,’ he said.

The PAP has managed to survive more than 50 years because it kept itself ‘vigorous, lean, relevant, able to win elections’, and adjusting its leadership styles to ’suit new generations of Singaporeans,’ he noted.

He cited initiatives such as the PAP Policy Forum in which younger party members discuss policy making issues, intra-party elections to district committees, and establishing a presence in the new media.

It is difficult for political parties to stay vigorous, he allowed.

In Japan for instance, the Liberal Democratic Party has been in power for half a century, but ‘has not sustained its vigour’. With no nurturing of younger talent, there is a loss of energy and fresh ideas, observed Mr Lee. ‘So for more than a decade Japan has had a series of weak governments.’

China’s Communist Party, on the other hand, is trying to keep itself strong, vigorous and tied to the ground. This was why it was very interested in Singapore’s political experience, and sent many study teams here.

Mr Lee cautioned however that this did not mean the PAP had found the magic formula to keep itself strong. ‘It is always difficult to carry out self-renewal, to respond creatively to new challenges, to reinvent ourselves. But it is vital for the PAP to make every attempt,’ he said.

I was going through the old photo albums because the children are away in their scuba/ archery/ bowling camp and I am as usual, being a wuss and missing the scampers.

Sigh, seems like yesterday when Ger was such a geram little baby!!!

So cheeky!

So geram!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm, I don’t know why she looks so ‘mabok’ here. LOL

Fond memories of her wearing a dress.

Earnest little schoolgirl

At a friend’s home

She looked ‘kuailan’ in this pic! LOL

Another one of her in a dress.

Sigh, and now she is ten going on twenty. How time flies.

We went to Gean’s K1 concert last Friday. She was dancing as a watermelon to ‘The Fruit of the Spirit’. Like her sister, she took to the stage beautifully and was quite the trooper.

Ger very gamely took the video of her sister dancing which was very sweet but really, her video cannot make it. She was trying to take the footage of everybody and in certain sequences, her sister was cut out! We are so buying the official DVD. LOL

Suddenly I feel that my baby is growing up so quickly and it seemed like yesterday when she was just a geram little baby. Sigh.

We went for an evening walk at Henderson Waves last weekend. It is better to go in the early morning when there are less mozzies and not so damn hot. The scenery is beautiful though. Most importantly, FOC ok.

I love how the kids make their own entertainment. LOL.

And of course there were idiots who don’t know how to read signs and insist on smoking and polluting the air. Common sense to know not to smoke in places where people take relaxing walks right? Apparently not.

I read the recent articles (appended below) on maid abuse with much sadness and disgust. A policeman, a mother and a family of maid abusers – truly the other spectrum of the human race. Makes me wonder what the world is coming to.

I personally never had a maid – am too much of a perfectionist anal retentive privacy fanatic Ms Gotta do it all herself to have a maid. Come on, it is a matter of common sense after all. If you know you are the fussy or intolerant type, then spare yourself the grief. Don’t employ a maid and then bitch about it endlessly. I had a full time job and took care of the kids myself just fine. We got a part time helper to come in 2-3 times a week after I had my slipped disc problem. She doesn’t clean as well as I would like to, but I tell myself to lighten up.

My family had employed maids to care for my grandmother while she was alive and to take care of the house and garden. We never bought into the nonsense that our helpers cannot eat at the same table as us, or cannot eat the same foods as us. And we never had a ‘list of rules’ for our maids. Before you splutter and go “a list of rules?!” I kid you not. I append a sample list, which was posted in an online forum, below. The ones in bold are those that I deem very interesting. And yes, the ‘Kids’ was really written with a capital K.

• Do not steal anything. Stealing is an offence, punishable by law.
• Do not use/consume any items that do not belong to you like perfume, creams, chocolates, chicken of essence, tonics, etc.
• Honesty is the best policy. Else it would eliminate your credibility and our trust in you.
• Respect everyone in the family. This will show good examples to children
• Be courteous to everybody, no talking back and smile!
• Say please, thank you, sorry, good morning.
• Before you eat/use anything, think about whether Sir, M’am, Kids, have eaten/have enough.
• Ensure everyone has a portion of the food/snacks/drinks. M’am does grocery shopping during weekend.
• Do not open/read any letter that is not addressed to you.
• Do not touch or use family members’ personal items. Check with M’am if unsure.
• Do not show temper or pull a “long face” to M’am/Sir/children. If you have any concerns that disturb you, please raise promptly to M’am’s attention.
• Do not open any cupboards, drawers or cabinets unless instructed.
• Do not go into any bedroom when a male family member is in there.
• Do not interfere when M’am/Sir is disciplining / talking to Kids.
• Do not befriend strangers.
• Do not open the door to strangers unless advised by M’am/Sir beforehand.
• Even if visitors claim to be from the government/company, or claim to know anybody from the family.
• If they continue to disturb you by making noise outside like banging on the door, etc, call M’am immediately.
• Strictly no visitors when M’am/Sir is not in.
• Do not give home telephone number or address to outsiders.
• Do not gossip with people in the neighbourhood.
• Do not go out of the house without permission except going downstairs for school bus. Do not bring Kids to pool.
• Always lock main door and remove key.
• If there is an emergency at home, call M’am/Sir immediately.
• Do not use the telephone for your private use without M’am/Sir’s permission.
• Do not waste water, electricity and gas
• Switch off the water heater, lights and fan when not required.
• Use only the amount of water required.
• Do not turn on air conditioner without M’am/Sir’s permission.
• Keep room clean.
• No moonlighting on your off-days as it is illegal
• Off-day is only given from 7th month onwards.
• It is set to be the last Sunday of the month. If M’am needs to change, M’am will inform you in advance.
• 10am – 8pm. Do not be late as the children need to be asleep by 9pm and you are sharing room with them.
• No going to doctor/hairdresser/etc without M’am’s permission
• M’am will not top up the difference in S$ if you go to a more expensive place than what M’am recommends
• Eat whatever M’am gives you. Do not skip meals or be choosy with food
• Take 3 meals a day (Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner).
• The same goes for sundry items, e.g. shampoo, soap, toothbrush/paste etc.
• If you do not like what M’am buys for you to eat/use, you may use your own money to buy.
• Have sufficient rest – sleep around 10 pm. You can do some light reading / write mails but you cannot do this in expense of your sleep time.
• Always stay close to M’am when going out.
• Be polite to guests. Say hello and serve drinks.
• No offensive materials like drug, cigarettes, etc. Check with M’am if unsure. Do not keep food in bed room.
• Love, protect and be patient to Kids
• Example of love – Always give them the fleshiest part of the fish as there are no bones that could hurt them.
• Example of protect – Do not let them go near fire, iron, fan, etc. Do not allow them to draw curtains.
• Example of patience – Be patient when feeding Kids , reading to Kids , supervising them in their homework.
• Take care of their cleanliness
• Wash their hands with soap before eating. Bathe them twice a day.
• Wash kids’ and your hands after you bring her to the toilet.
• Call M’am immediately if Kids are sick, falls down or is injured.
• Inform M’am when child misbehaves or is disobedient. Do not take discipline (e.g. scolding or beating) into your own hands
• Speak good English to Kids
• Be neat, tidy and clean at all times
• Wash your hair every night.
• Hair length no longer than shoulder.
• Finger and toe nails to be short. No nail polish.
• Bathe at least twice a day. Wear clean clothes after bath.
• Wash your hands thoroughly with soap after using toilet, cleaning house and before handing food/drinks.
• No putting on of make-up, perfume/fragrance or jewellery.
• Be appropriately dressed at all times.
• No wearing of revealing, body hugging clothes/pyjamas.
• No wearing of very short shorts.
• No wrapping of towel after bath and walking to room to change clothes.
• Taking care of children is the NUMBER 1 priority. Safety comes first!
• You are required to do housework and take care of Kids.
• When both tasks require your attention at the same time, you should attend to the children’s need first.
• Do all tasks properly and quickly by following work schedule that M’am had prepared
• Take initiative. Do not need to be told what is next.
• Do not take short cuts in housework.
• Keep the house neat and clean at all times.
• Ask when in doubt to prevent misunderstanding.
• Prepare all ingredients before you start cooking to reduce cooking time.
• If Kid is alone at home, ensure she is doing something useful and safe before you start cooking.
• Close kitchen door before you cook only if someone is in the house looking after Kids.
• Turn off fire and cooker switch immediately once cooking is completed.
• Always ensure gas knobs are in the correct position after cooking. Do not just check for fire as M’am’s house is very windy.
• Do not take anything from the house without permission.
• Handle all items with care. Inform M’am of any breakage, spoilage.
• Do not throw away anything without asking M’am.
• Inform M’am when groceries/toiletries/washing aids are running low. E.g. rice, salt, coffee, toilet rolls, dish washing liquid, etc.
• Ensure all doors stick to door magnet as M’am’s house is very windy.
• Be careful with clothes during hand-wash/ironing. Check with M’am if unsure. Eg how long to soak before hand-wash, the setting on the iron for ironing.
• Check with M’am before you throw away leftover food / anything.
• Be careful not to scratch the car when washing the car.
• Send mails only to your family members within reasonable timeframe
• No sending of mails to pen pals.
• Reasonably, there should be no more than 1 mail per week.
• Only letters. Do not send other things without M’am’s permission (e.g. Photo, small items, money, etc).
• You can ask to purchase a phone card – cost will be deducted from the pay
• Ask permission for the use of phone from M’am/Sir before using the phone.
• Use of phone should not affect your attention to the children or work.
• You should also advise your family members to not call you after 10.00 pm.
• Reasonably, there should be no more than 2 calls per month.
• No buying or owning of mobile phone. Mobile phone will be confiscated by M’am and only returned to you upon completion of contract.
• Incoming calls to you should only be from your immediate family members in hometown.
• Greet the caller – Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening.
• If M’am/Sir is not in, inform caller “M’am/Sir is not in” and hang up phone IMMEDIATELY.
• Do not answer any questions over the phone from any callers except questions from M’am/Sir/Kids

Damn, I think the job of this maid is tougher than mine, and definitely way underpaid.

**

While I poo poo the unrealistic idea of providing maternity benefits to maids, I think we need to have a basic understanding to treat our helpers with basic decency – a trait, like common sense, seem sadly deficient. I see and hear things like maids not getting to eat at restaurants, carrying countless bags while the sluggish employer saunters empty handed, having to wake at 6am in the morning and getting to sleep only at midnight – the list goes on. The stupidest has got to be the one who treats her maid who takes care of her very young children in a shabby manner. Hey look, I don’t need to tell you how stupid that is right?

By Elena Chong, Courts Correspondent

Maselly Abdul Aziz (right) is on trial for using heated substance to hurt Ms Badingah, 29, at her rented flat at Jalan Minyak between June 2 and July 26 last year. — ST PHOTO

A HOUSEWIFE allegedly poured boiling water on the private parts of an Indonesian maid after the maid had used hot water to bathe her four-year-old daughter, a district court heard.

Maselly Abdul Aziz, 38, is on trial for using heated substance to hurt Ms Badingah, 29, at her rented flat at Jalan Minyak between June 2 and July 26 last year.

Maselly, who is defending herself, is also accused of using an iron rod to hit the maid and instigating her daughter, Nur Rizan Mohamed Sazali to extract two of her front teeth.

Nur Rizan, 18, is serving 26 months’ jail for abusing the maid, whose employer, Elsa Elyana Said, 25, was given 17 months’ jail recently for helping to extract her teeth and punching her.

Maselly’s son, Mr Muhammad Iz’aan, 20, has since served five weeks’ jail for using a cane to hit the maid on the back.

Ms Badingah testified that she jumped out of the second-storey flat off Chin Swee Road on July 26 last year after Maselly had threatened her with two knives.

Maselly is said to have told her in a mixture of Bahasa Melayu and Bahasa Indonesia that she would kill her if she did not return $60 to her.

Ms Badingah testified that Maselly had instructed Nur Rizan to pull out her teeth after blaming her for stealing.

‘Maselly often lost her money and handphone, and that applies to her family members. Maselly then accused me of stealing her handphone and money. So she told me that if she loses an item, she would extract one of my teeth,’ she said.

She said Elsa held her head while Nur Rizan pulled out her tooth with a pair of pliers.

Several hours later, her second tooth was forcibly pulled out by Nur Rizan with Elsa’s help.

The trial continues.

Detective jailed for maid abuse
By Selina Lum

Lawrence Lim Hwang Ngin (left) was sentenced to a year’s jail for abusing his Indonesian maid. — ST PHOTO: SHAHRIYA YAHAYA

A DETECTIVE from the Criminal Investigation Department was sentenced to a year’s jail by the High Court for abusing his Indonesian maid.

Justice Kan Ting Chiu, in sentencing Lawrence Lim Hwang Ngin, 35, noted that he had abused his position as a police officer and caused fear in the maid.

The judge found Lim guilty of kicking and hitting the maid on five occasions.

He pointed out that the circumstances leading to the assaults were ‘minor domestic matters’.

Lim was convicted in August of kicking and hitting his maid on five occasions.

However, he was acquitted of seven charges of sexual abuse, including one count of rape.

Lim has appealed against his conviction for maid abuse and is out on bail of $70,000.

Woman jailed for maid abuse By Elena Chong, Courts Correspondent

Tay Wan Leng, 41, pleaded guilty to pinching the right arm of Indonesian Istikomah, pulling her shirt and slapping her face, back and head several times at her home in Woodlands on Jan 22. — ST PHOTO: WONG KWAI CHOW

A WOMAN administrator was jailed for five weeks on Monday for maid abuse.

Tay Wan Leng, 41, pleaded guilty to pinching the right arm of Indonesian Istikomah, pulling her shirt and slapping her face, back and head several times at her home in Woodlands on Jan 22.

A court heard that Tay lashed out at the maid after discovering that the 27-year-old had not followed her instructions to soak her husband’s and her clothes.

That was the second day in a row she had abused the maid.

A day earlier on Jan 21, she punched the maid on her chest and stomach and pulled her hair but this charge was considered during her sentencing.

Ms Istikomah, who started working for the family last November, ran to the maid agency on Jan 23.

She was taken to hospital and warded for a day.

Defence lawyer Tang Gee Ni said Tay was under emotional and mental stress and strain when she committed the offence.

He said she had compensated $700 to the maid and would pay for her airfare home.

Tay could have been jailed for up to 18 months and fined up to $1,500.

I am not fascinated with grades per se. And no, I am not a negligent mum. I just dislike the idea of grades being all indicative of a child’s understanding and intelligence. Unconventional perhaps, but not that radical.

So far, Germaine has not had any tuition, despite her weak grades in Mathematics. She doesn’t like the idea and prefers being taught by us – conveniently ignoring the fact my blood pressure shoots up every time I have to coach her. And have you seen those Primary Maths questions lately? Still, they are trying to ‘boost primary education‘. Enough already! If this trend continues, all the monetary incentives they throw up cannot convince me to have a third child.

Anyway, my refusal to let grades define my child’s intelligence does not mean that I do not praise her when she does well.

Similarly, when she scores reasonably good marks, I don’t let up on her if I know that she can score better and has started being complacent.

My point is, grades are not a complete indicator of a child’s education. In some cases, some children cannot handle the stress and their nervousness during examinations and end up not doing as well as they could in normal circumstances.

Another reason why I feel that grades should not be all indicative of a child’s intelligence and abilities is also because some children might be late bloomers. If your child could not speak well even to the age of nine, did poorly in school and had a teacher who told you that he ‘could not amount to anything’, would you feel that he is a ‘gone case’?

Well, I would hardly label Albert Einstein as a ‘gone case’.

Not every one of our children may be gifted academically but I believe that every child has his or her own talent. I have known children who have flunked their academic subjects but who are good in the kitchen, sports or arts. And who is to say that these children are failures?

It is our society and our culture that determines academia to be the ultimate success. Don’t be deceived or trapped by the herd mentality. It is people like Bill Gates and Sim Wong Hoo who are laughing their way to the bank.

**

I have a story that I would like to share with my readers.

There was once a boy whose nickname is “Dummy”. He was in 5th grade and thought that he was stupid. Although he grew up in a very poor neighborhood in Detroit his mother, who worked as a domestic,  believed that he and his older brother could only succeed through education.  She worked 2, sometimes 3 menial jobs to take care of them.

**

Next up: Point #2 on education – stop the mollycoddling and babysitting.

You have heard some about my views on press in Singapore. Admittedly, I have found some local journalists, particularly in ST, to display rather questionable and fudgy journalistic principles. With the candid (almost brutal) honesty of this piece, some readers have told me that I might be ‘blacklisted’. That would be rather lamentable and petty if it was true. In any case, I weigh my options and I still consider telling the truth as it is as my utmost priority. That is also one of my beliefs in life – to be true to myself. I simply cannot pander to any authority for some benefits or because of some hidden political or career agenda.

I look at some of the quotes picked out from bloggers in the Sunday Times and cannot help but share another brutally honest thought – I wish that they will feature insightful and thought provoking quotes from bloggers instead of the usual inane lack lustre words which might as well not be featured at all. I suspect that there was a certain condescension or even discredit in featuring them. Stomp is another media platform that displays the local blogosphere in a bad light – it allows for petty connivance and mudslinging. With such a positioning, do they not realize that it reflects badly on themselves too?

The relationship between the press and bloggers will continue to be a delicate one. While we have the benefit of speed on our part, they have the resources. This might evolve with time and planning, as can be seen with Malaysiakini. Once upon a time, their local press and even Mahathir then scoffed at them for being a blogging platform. Now Mahathir is practically begging to be interviewed by Malaysiakini. As opposed to viewing each other with hostile wariness, I feel that we could do well to complement each other if we could overcome the trust issue. Cultivating a press-blogger dichotomy serves no purpose at all.

In any case, to say that all the ST journalists are unprofessional or that all local press is not trustworthy, would be to unfairly tar them all with the same brush – what would that make of us? To be fair, writing from reporters like Melissa Lim, Kor Kian Beng, Lee Siew Hua and Andy Ho have so far been balanced and integral. Lydia Lim had also penned an excellent article on capitalism last Saturday, which I append below.

Capitalism needs a new culture

Nov 8, 2008

Individualism must be replaced by personal and social responsibility

By Lydia Lim

DARE we hope that Singapore’s economy, and that of the world, will emerge stronger and better from the ashes of the current financial crisis?

In a week when citizens of the United States elected as their first African-American president a man whose campaign was founded on hope, a fitting answer seems to be: Yes we can, we must.

The Wall Street culture that preached ‘greed is good’ and celebrated individual profit at others’ expense has been on the ascendant for over two decades.

It spread to Singapore, which like many other countries, was led to believe that capitalism as practised in America was the fastest, surest way to economic growth.

It was a culture that encouraged those who mastered the markets to believe they operated in an amoral realm, where old-fashioned notions of right and wrong simply did not apply.

The princes of this universe were those who knew how to gamble with borrowed funds and pass off financial risk to others more ignorant than themselves.

Such values permeated society. As people watched investment bankers grow obscenely rich, they too wanted in. Who could afford to pass up the tantalising opportunities to make a pile overnight?

In recent years, the more perceptive among us began to detect signs of trouble.

I recall one local employer complaining that each time there was a bull run on the stock market, his employees got lazy.

They lost their desire to do real work, preferring instead to sit around the office exchanging notes on market movements and placing bets on stocks and shares.

Many older Singaporeans bemoaned the younger generations’ lack of thrift but were dismissed as fuddy-duddies.

Rising asset prices lent credence to the belief that the more one spent, the more one stood to gain.

There seemed no reason to hold back – even if one lacked funds, one could always borrow to finance one’s purchases.

Not any more.

The credit crisis that began when some US home-owners failed to meet payments on their sub-prime mortgages, is now set to cause millions around the world to lose their homes, their savings and their jobs.

Nobel laureate economist Joseph Stiglitz has diagnosed the problem as a lack of alignment between private rewards and social returns.

Financial markets, he said in his testimony before US lawmakers on the future of regulation, exist to enable the real economy to be more productive, by mobilising savings, allocating capital and managing risk, transferring it from those less able to bear it to those more able.

Instead, financial markets in the US and elsewhere encouraged spendthrift patterns which led to near-zero savings; they misallocated capital and instead of managing risk, they created it, leaving huge risks with ordinary Americans who are now bearing huge costs because of these failures, he said.

Despite failing the society they were meant to serve, executives in the financial sector continued to reap huge rewards for themselves.

They were also allowed to exploit the ignorance of others through means such as securitisation – the process of taking an illiquid asset and turning it in a security, that is, a contract that can be assigned a value and traded.

‘In the old days, those originating mortgages held on to them; banks knew the people to whom they had lent money,’ Professor Stiglitz said.

‘When there was a problem in repayment, they could understand its nature and work with a family on a payment plan. It was in everyone’s interest for the family not to be thrown out into the street.

‘Securitisation was based on the premise that ‘a fool was born every minute’. Globalisation meant that there was a global landscape on which they could search for those fools – and they found them everywhere.

‘Mortgage originators didn’t have to ask, is this a good loan, but only, is this a mortgage I might somehow pass on to others,’ he added.

With the meltdown, the theory that markets know best and must be left unfettered to work their magic has been well and truly discredited.

Governments need to step in to regulate and ensure financial markets work the way they are meant to.

But beyond that, the world needs a new culture to replace that of Wall Street.

Businessman and Singapore Management University chairman Ho Kwon Ping believes East Asia should forge its own form of neo-Confucian capitalism that is communitarian in ethos, as opposed to the excessive individualism propagated by Wall Street.

The world has suffered a terrible setback to growth and development, but it has also been presented with a chance to seed a new culture of personal and social responsibility.

We need to build a new consensus that true prosperity is shared prosperity, because only then is it sustainable.

We need a new understanding of what it means to really master financial markets.

It cannot mean the kind of innovation that allows a few to sell junk bonds to others for personal profit. It must mean the kind of creativity that paves the way for people and businesses to be secure and flourish.

Surely that is a far worthier goal for young bankers to work towards than their next posh car.

In his testimony before the US Congressional Committee, Prof Stiglitz argued that the regulations he recommended would not stifle but encourage real innovation.

Too much of the American financial sector’s creativity had been directed towards circumventing regulations, he said.

‘Elsewhere there has been real innovation – the Danish mortgage market is an excellent example, with low transaction costs and much greater security,’ he added.

The credit crisis has led to a renewed recognition of the need for markets to promote human values – integrity, fairness, protection for the vulnerable.

That is cause for optimism.

These values may be just what capitalism needs to reinvigorate itself.

lydia@sph.com.sg

John McCain’s gracious concession speech – possibly one of his best speeches.

Honestly, though I think McCain is a good old chap with an evil sense of humour, his choice of Palin ultimately did him in good. The gaffes, the cluelessness on foreign policies and the wardrobe – too much to stomach. I shudder at the thought of her being remotely close to being the next President of America.

Also, after what Bush did to America’s economy, what with subprime loans, war policies and what nots, America is ready for a necessary change, a change which might be too radical for McCain and his conservative Republican policies and ideas. And so that change came in the form of Barack Obama.

Though our dear MM Lee once dismissed Obama as being too inexperienced and a ‘flash in the pan’ and that America is not ready for a bi-racial President, he is once again being proven wrong in the landslide votes – America had spoken and had spoken very clearly.

Part 1 of Barack Obama’s Victory Speech

Part 1 of Barack Obama’s Victory Speech

Difference between the two Presidential candidates and our politicans

When I was following the speeches on Wednesday, I was struck by the difference in the two politicians campaigning and fighting with so much passion for the presidency and our very own ministers and leaders, who were, for want of a better description, enticed and bought with money.

The jarring difference is painfully obvious. McCain, in his concession speech, pledges his full support to his opponent who had won. He said “the failure is mine, not yours.”

Our Prime Minister, Lee Hsien Loong, urges us not to vote in too many opposition politicians lest he has to spend more time thinking about how to ‘buy votes and fix the opposition‘.

Obama said to the red voters, “And, to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your president, too.”

Our Minister Mentor, Lee Kuan Yew, said ‘we decide what is right. Never mind what people think’ in 1987, while the opposition wards like Potong Pasir seem to have been marked off the property radar of Singapore.

Great world of difference – and we are constantly being fed nuggets of wisdom on how dangerous the Western liberation and democracy is and our MM Lee even said that the ‘one man one vote system is too dangerous’. Just look how dangerous and gracious McCain and Obama became. Don’t worry – our own leaders are not remotely even close to that kind of ‘danger’. Our leaders are incapable of being gracious even when talking about a dead opponent, much less one he would have to spend time ‘fixing’.

Indeed, if the political climate in America was like that of our country, Obama will not be given the opportunity to even serve in Senate. His family circumstances, the race issue, his radical ideas and thinking not in line with ruling party’s – all these would have worked against him here but not in America where the people have spoken.

Why the glaring difference

I believe it lies in one single factor – passion. Obama and McCain may have had different convictions and political beliefs but the common denominator was that they campaigned hard for the presidency. Obama particularly, harnessed a creative use of social media to speak to the masses. Were they enticed with a million dollar salary to run for presidency? Were they promised a nanny in the form of the GRC protection in their election? Nothing was handed to them on a silver spoon.

They battled hard and in some instances, fought dirty and showed grit and tenacity in their quest of ‘may the best man win’. I respect that deeply.

Our ministers, who have to be persuaded in tea sessions and monetary offers so that they will leave their ‘lucrative practices’ and promised candidacy where a heavyweight big brother will take care of you in the elections – forget it. What passion? What fiery oratory can these people be capable of? MM Lee loves to justify the ministerial salary to how much ministers like Ng Eng Hen and Vivian Balakrishnan were making in their practices before. Were Obama and McCain not wealthy before they chose to run for presidency?

When Obama spoke, the hair on the back of my neck stood and I felt awed, hope, comforted and inspired by the power of his conviction and the change that is to come. When McCain spoke, I felt humbled by his graciousness and respect for his consideration of the bigger picture.

When our ministers spoke, I usually feel nothing but anger and contempt, or at best – nonchalance.

Dr Terence Chong of the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies told ST that ‘while Singaporeans cheer and dream along with Americans as global citizens, when it comes to local politicians, they just want them to make sure that the street lights work in the evening and there are jobs in the morning‘ and that we ‘accept that Singapore leaders don’t do inspiration, they do competence and reliability‘.

Really? Why is there a mutual exclusivity between ‘inspiration’ and ‘competence and reliability’?

Also, with the recent financial saga and with Singapore being the first Asian country to go into recession, it seems that the claim of ‘competence and reliability’ is pretty dody, much less the hope of being inspiring.

Yes, we can

In a nation where the mantra of the leadership is ‘we decide what is right. Never mind what people think”, we have to accept that there will only be concessionary change – Speakers’ Corner, political films (like we care, they were being distributed anyway) etc, just to wayang a little. The leadership style, the iron arm tactics, the ‘we know what is best’ authoritarian style  – I doubt these will change.

But we can. We, as a people, can change to be less apathetic and more socially conscious. When will we ‘cast off the slumber into which you have been led into for the last 10 years. Wake up to your rights as a human being, to your proper role as citizens of this country.’ – in the words of JB Jeyaretnam?

I believe that we, as a people, do want change. Just look at the turnout in the WP rally in the 2006 elections.

When will our people speak? When will we stand out and stand as a people, ‘Yes, we can’ or most importantly, ‘Yes, I can’?

Whenever the kids are staying the night at their grandparents’ home, Big and I will go out for one of our supper dates. I know the kids are old enough but I guess we just don’t like the idea. There was once when Big had to bring me to A&E in the middle of the night and Gean ended up sobbing on my bed because she woke up to go to the bathroom and she couldn’t find me. Yes, this girl has a very weird cute habit of checking in on me whenever she goes to the bathroom at night. It’s like she got to make sure her mum hasn’t been kidnapped or something. LOL.

Anyway, we decided to pop by Mustafa’s for some toiletries shopping (you can’t believe the range they have there) and ended up at Madura’s for some Indian food. It’s opposite Mustafa (115 Syed Alwi Road).

The food is fantastic – and in my opinion, even better than Khansama’s.

The chicken tandoori was fragrant and tender

Butter naan. Fluffy and flavourful

Tissue ghee thosai – very light

The prices are pretty reasonable too. Food with masala tea for both of us = $20. Not too bad.