Villian/ victim?
A pregnant STOMPer says this woman not only did not offer her the Priority Seat in the train, she even cursed her and her unborn child.Says the STOMPer in an email to STOMP yesterday (Jan 29):
“Today, I (I boarded the train from City Hall) met this inconsiderate and rude woman who did not offer me (who is 26 weeks pregnant) the Priority Seat she was sitting on.
“She did not offer me the seat even after finishing her sms and after one stop.
“However, she realised that I was taking a picture of her and asked me very rudely and with a hostile expression on her face if I wanted the seat.
“I answered yes and she stood up and started hurling vulgarities at me and calling me a ‘b***h’.
“I scolded her back as I thought she should be embarassed of herself!
“She walked away after about 20 seconds of cursing.
“Before she alighted at Novena station, she stopped by my seat and started cursing me and my unborn baby!
“I’m speechless as I’m wondering if she is even ashamed of herself!
“I cannot tolerate actions like this and from someone who is obviously educated.”
In a telephone conversation with STOMP, the STOMPer stood by her story.
She said that she was wearing maternity clothing and was visibly pregnant when she boarded the train and was disappointed that the woman had behaved in such a manner.
What were your thoughts after reading this? Indignation? Anger? Incredulity? This is natural if you had felt the above. After all it is minimal human decency to side with a pregnant woman who not only had been denied a seat, but also had to endure curses to herself and her unborn child. [Though as a disclaimer, I should state that I never expected anyone to offer me a seat during both my pregnancies. That is a story for another day though.]
You might even blog about it and express your displeasure/ disgust/ anger/ shock. That, too is perfectly normal. But what if you were presented with the other side of the story?
A pregnant woman earlier alleged that this woman not only failed to offer her a Priority Seat in the train, she even cursed her and her unborn child.The woman pictured in the story has since informed STOMP of her side of the story in an email dated Feb 1.Here’s what she had to say:“The truth of this incident is I boarded the train before the pregnant lady did. I was tired and trying to sleep as you can see in the photo.
“I had no idea when she boarded or that she was maliciously taking a photo of me sleeping. She never once asked for the seat, nor did anybody around alert me of her presence.
“Nonetheless, I looked up after a while, and when I noticed her, I immediately asked, ‘Do you want to sit?’
“To my shock and horror, she said ‘Yes’ really rudely, glaring at me, and rushed to the seat without a word of thanks!
“I then asked her, ‘Hey I offered you the seat, why are you being so hostile?’
“She said, ‘Of course! Couldn’t you see the sign?’
“Certainly I knew I was sitting on the Priority Seat. But am I expected to be constantly on the lookout for pregnant women? I was asleep for Christ’s sake, and the minute I noticed her, I offered it to her!
“There was NO ‘20 seconds of cursing’, ’she stood up and started hurling vulgarities at me’, nor did I curse her and her unborn baby.
“‘A pregnant STOMPer says this woman not only did not offer her the Priority Seat in the train, she even cursed her and her unborn child’ – this vicious statement is totally untrue.
“If there were SMRT cameras, I would most certainly like the public to see how ungrateful this pregnant lady really was, and worse, trying to malign me on STOMP!
“I do not deny that I called her a b***h. She certainly is the epitome of the word ‘b***h’.
“The truth is, she called me one too! After I graciously offered her the seat, she called me a b***h because I said there was no need for hostility simply because I had not noticed her earlier.
“As for ‘cursing her and her unborn baby’? All i said before I alighted was that it would be terribly sad if she brought up another person just like herself.
“I am not ashamed to say this because this is the true story, and I am sure everyone would agree with me that it is a great shame that a lady of her age cannot even conduct herself graciously, and is thinking of bringing up a child.”
Ah.. feeling differently now? My point is, regardless of who you might think is telling the truth, get both sides of the story.
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
This reminds me of an experience I had about 2.5 years ago. Sometimes it is just a small and simple misunderstanding.
The sitting lady did eventually gave up her seat to the pregnant lady. The fact that the pregnant lady took photo and posted it up in stomp had kinda showed her vindictive nature. Why did she post the picture of the sitting lady in public? Obviously her intention was to shame her victim.
An eye for any eye, makes the world go blind. Sigh.
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I did something similar long ago. Boarded the train in the east, sat and promptly opened a book to read.
As the train neared the city center, I vaguely glimpsed a belly pointing at me. It didn’t cross my mind to look up, I merely assumed it must be a person with a beer belly and even thought the person is rude to stand so closely to me.
When I finally reached my destination in the far west, I put the book away and to my horror, saw that the belly belongs to a pregnant lady. I was so shocked that I was speechless but I really should have slapped myself out of it and apologize. Now I feel very grateful that she didn’t snap my photo and STOMP it.
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Cobalt Paladin: Thanks for sharing! I agree that sometimes, it is just a simple misunderstanding that is blown up by the perceptions of people.
How true.
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Hillary: Thankfully they didn’t have STOMP back then?
As CP said, sometimes it IS really just a simple misunderstanding.
But seriously the ugliness and childishness in STOMP is getting unbelievable.
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Love is blind.
that means Love is vindictive too.
I Love you…
Dun play play
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm
The root of all evil lies in the creation of STOMP. Without STOMP all our dirty laundry would still be hidden safety away from the rest of the world.
STOMP is suppose to an outlet for people to share valuable information but it has been reduced to nothing more than a gossip website for people to vent their frustration and anger. If you are angry about something or someone, snap some photos, upload “your side of the story” and wait for other online users that are quick to jump to conclusion to seek revenge for you.
Maybe STOMP should be close down as it brings discord between Singaporeans.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Bear Bear: Oh please. Everyone here loves me. Get in line.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
motd:
I agree. Unfortunately that site seems to be fuelled with more and more ugliness as time goes by. A platform like that will work for only very sophisticated users.
February 4th, 2009 at 3:37 am
Priority seats are the greatest cure for insomnia in Singapore.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:50 am
jeff: LOL!!
February 4th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
STOMP is getting worse and worse. Sure, it’s a tabloid for all kinds of entertaining shite but I really think they should be more selective of the stuff they put up. Even citizen journalism should have its boundaries, no? What annoys me greatly is that the content producers seem to have acquired a habit of presenting stories that are greatly biased against a particular nationality. No prizes for guessing what is the nationality in question.
February 5th, 2009 at 7:33 am
if u want a seat, ask for it.
i sometimes poke people nowadays, if i really do need a seat.
However i dont expect a seat at all, even i am pregnant.
I am pregnant, not disabled
February 8th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Actually even before i read the other lady’s view i thought it was extremely nasty of the pregnant lady to take a picture of the lady who was seated. While i know those seats are priority seats but its not mandatory for people to give up those seats. I agree with being gracious and giving up my seats to those who need it more than i do. But if i am the one who needs the seat, i don’t think i should have this sense of entitlement (like the pregnant lady) or think anyone owes me when they do not.
February 13th, 2009 at 9:59 am
natnatviv: hear hear!! I agree.
February 13th, 2009 at 10:00 am
laundrygirl: I agree. Lack of proper moderation makes it even worse.
February 13th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Liilian: hey, good point too.