Just.

*Cues thunder and lightning* Am I the only remaining Singaporean parent to feel this way?

I am not against having tuition for the kids if they need help but I am against having tuition for the kids if you want to ace everyone else, ace everything and to play the senseless one up game with everyone else. I know some parents who are proud to have their kids tutored in all the subjects just to be ‘ahead’ in the rat race.

This is like winning in the Special Olympics. If you need to ask why, stop reading.

I have never forced tuition on Germaine because

1. she doesn’t need it.
2. I don’t need her to glorify me with her results
3. honestly, who found the stuff they learned in school relevant when they started working? I am not the only one who feels this way. Big shot investment banking lawyer also ok.

I also rebel against positioning education as a win or lose situation. I hate the way our education system pushes parents and students to choose courses which are “useful”, “practical” or “in-demand” (rather than the courses for which the student has a genuine interest).

This education system also ostracized people who may not score well academically, but are nevertheless talented and intelligent. Now it begs the question,

“Are examinations the only way to gauge your potential, talent and intelligence?”

I have friends who will never dream of sending their kids to Sports School in case the children ‘don’t have something to fall back on’. Is this the fault of the parents? No.

This is the fault of this elitist government who has worshipped the God of Academic Results. An ‘A team‘ which has lost (only) billions in investments  and came up with gems like Job Credit Scheme.

Lastly, look at poor Rebecca Wong (or rather, poor Rebecca Wong’s parents).

ST Nov 29, 2008
Tuition not the way to success

WHEN I collected my Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) results in 1985, I was told I had been selected to attend a Special Assistance Plan (SAP) secondary school. This sudden ‘promotion’ did my parents proud but it gave me much stress. The moment I started at the SAP school, I fell from being the top girl to being among the top 15. For the first time in my life, I knew I was simply ‘not good enough’ and was bitterly disappointed with myself.

Since almost everyone ahead of me had tuition of various kinds, I told my parents I needed help too.It was not long before my single-income family began to channel huge amounts towards education investment – tuition for me and my three siblings. One day, the principal of my SAP school in Katong asked to meet my parents concerning my lacklustre grades. He wanted me to drop chemistry and English literature specifically, ’so as not to pull down the school standard’. After my mother pleaded with him tearfully, this humiliating episode ended with more tuition for me and less retirement funds for my food-seller parents. In all, I had tuition in six out of 10 subjects, not because I did badly, but because I was not good enough to achieve the As and Bs the school was furiously churning out ….

Rebecca Wang

I am not fascinated with grades per se. And no, I am not a negligent mum. I just dislike the idea of grades being all indicative of a child’s understanding and intelligence. Unconventional perhaps, but not that radical.

So far, Germaine has not had any tuition, despite her weak grades in Mathematics. She doesn’t like the idea and prefers being taught by us – conveniently ignoring the fact my blood pressure shoots up every time I have to coach her. And have you seen those Primary Maths questions lately? Still, they are trying to ‘boost primary education‘. Enough already! If this trend continues, all the monetary incentives they throw up cannot convince me to have a third child.

Anyway, my refusal to let grades define my child’s intelligence does not mean that I do not praise her when she does well.

Similarly, when she scores reasonably good marks, I don’t let up on her if I know that she can score better and has started being complacent.

My point is, grades are not a complete indicator of a child’s education. In some cases, some children cannot handle the stress and their nervousness during examinations and end up not doing as well as they could in normal circumstances.

Another reason why I feel that grades should not be all indicative of a child’s intelligence and abilities is also because some children might be late bloomers. If your child could not speak well even to the age of nine, did poorly in school and had a teacher who told you that he ‘could not amount to anything’, would you feel that he is a ‘gone case’?

Well, I would hardly label Albert Einstein as a ‘gone case’.

Not every one of our children may be gifted academically but I believe that every child has his or her own talent. I have known children who have flunked their academic subjects but who are good in the kitchen, sports or arts. And who is to say that these children are failures?

It is our society and our culture that determines academia to be the ultimate success. Don’t be deceived or trapped by the herd mentality. It is people like Bill Gates and Sim Wong Hoo who are laughing their way to the bank.

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I have a story that I would like to share with my readers.

There was once a boy whose nickname is “Dummy”. He was in 5th grade and thought that he was stupid. Although he grew up in a very poor neighborhood in Detroit his mother, who worked as a domestic,  believed that he and his older brother could only succeed through education.  She worked 2, sometimes 3 menial jobs to take care of them.

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Next up: Point #2 on education – stop the mollycoddling and babysitting.